


Hold onto me.

by orphan_account



Series: Angels, Demons and Guardians [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comfort, Death, Demons, F/M, Fighting, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Stress, Vampires, Violence, Werewolves, you - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 23:41:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4039054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After having been reunited with the Winchesters, you find out what it's actually like to be around your sole purpose in life; Dean. You learn about the bond you share and the importance of being there for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Charlie

**Author's Note:**

> You asked and so you shall receive :) here is part 4 of my little series thing I've got going on. As you can see, I am trying to roughly follow the series, but I don't think I will it follow for very long. 
> 
> Also, from now on, instead of posting "Parts" I'll be adding chapters to this Part so that it's all in one place for you. 
> 
> Comments always welcome :3 thanks so much for reading, I hope you like it

“Hello, boys.” You said smugly, tucking your gun back into your jeans.

“Y/N?” Sam asked, stepping toward you.

“Where have you been?” Dean demanded with an angry tone as he got up and started walking adamantly toward you as well. 

 

You eyed Dean, still a little bitter that he dismissed you so easily four months ago. But you knew better now and you weren’t going to let him get the better of you. The Winchesters were now right in front of you. It felt nice to be around them again. It felt even better knowing that you were now definitely strong enough to take them both down in a fight if it ever came to that, not that you thought it would. The passed four months had been eye opening. A new case every week was not only educational about humans and supernatural creatures, but it was also a good work out. Your body had become leaner and stronger. You no longer felt as fragile as you did the day you fell. Crossing your arms in front of the two men who towered over you, you leant on one leg with confidence.

“Oh, I’ve been around.” You said. It was true. Although physically distant from the brothers, every night you would go into an almost meditative state that allowed you to check up on them. Of course neither of them were truly ever okay, but if anything were life threatening, you would have been there in seconds. 

“Really? You’ve been ‘around’?” Dean repeated, clearly unsure how to talk to you. Was he mad? Upset? You couldn’t tell. His stern expression was as unreadable now as it had been the day you met him.

“That’s what I said.” You answered. Looking around, the bar was now empty so you took the opportunity to grab a free drink. The boys watched you as you walked over the bar nonchalantly and took three glasses and a bottle of whiskey. No one said anything as you gave the boys a glass each, poured them a drink and then clinked glasses with them both before you drank. When neither of them moved, you decided that it was probably best to try and explain yourself. The boys followed your lead when you sat down at a table.

“It’s been... what? Four months?” You began, getting a nod from them both, “I’ve been hunting. Training myself. You know, so I don’t screw things up for you two if it ever came down to that.” You were referring to what had happened four months ago and Dean definitely picked up on it. He suddenly looked down into his glass before gulping down the whole thing and slamming it on to the table. You poured him another and he raised his glass slightly to you before taking a more appropriate sip. 

“Training, huh?” Dean said, “Well you look pretty damn experienced, now. Although, you could’ve killed me, you know. I swear you didn’t even look before you shot that thing right between the eyes.”

“I would never have shot you.” You scoffed, making Sam laugh.

“If you’ve been hunting, what seems to be alone, what happens when you get hurt? Can you get hurt?” The younger brother asked.

The worst you had ever been hurt was when you had first met your sort-of-adoptive family, when that werewolf ripped you to shreds. Since then, you had made an effort to think more before you acted; to listen before you made any movements. 

“Of course I can get hurt. But you’re not going to like what I’ve been doing for safety.” You explained. The brothers would definitely not approve of you taking shelter from a family of innocents. You were putting them in potential danger and you knew it. But you also knew that you could protect them. This argument would always run through your mind whenever a demon threatened you, but you were convinced that you would be able to keep them from harm.

“What have you been doing, Y/N?” Dean asked firmly. 

“I’ve been staying with a family who live just outside of this town.”

Both of the boys sighed and leant back in their chairs when they heard what you said. Dean’s hand went to his mouth as he rubbed his face in frustration. He thought back to the mistake he had made with Lisa and Ben. He knew he should have cut that cord long before he did and he still felt a pang of sadness every time he thought about how she had ended up in hospital because of him.

“Y/N, you can’t-…” He began, but you cut him off.

“No, I know. I need to leave them, but I-…” You choked on your words, unable to gather your thoughts properly.

“I know it’s hard,” Sam said, putting his hand on yours, “but it’s for the better. The life we live is dangerous. You’re putting them in potential harm.”

“I know.” You whispered, not looking up at either of the brothers, but keeping your eyes glued to the dark wooden texture of the table. Sam must have gestured to Dean because the elder brother cleared his throat before he stood up and came round to stand by you. You felt his hand on your shoulder and a little spark of energy erupt from the place of contact. Instantly, you calmed down and looked up at Dean. He had removed his hand, looking at it with confusion.

“Listen,” Dean said, brushing his hand on his trousers, “Come back to the bunker with us.”

You began to speak in protest, standing up to look him square in the face but he stopped you by raising a hand, “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have jumped to the conclusion that you’d ‘screw something up’ for us. I underestimated you, and I’m sorry.”

Dean was staring into your light blue, almost grey, eyes in a way that was almost intimidating. His apology, you could tell, was genuine. You could also tell that it was hard for him to be this open, and the pause that you were taking to think about what he had just said was probably causing him a little stress. You put him out of his misery.

“It’s alright, Dean,” You said, smiling, “It was partially my fault anyway. Being around… eerrr… well being around you makes me more human and I wasn’t used to human emotion yet. I let it get the better of me, which is why I was so sensitive. I’m still learning to control it.”

Both brothers were nodding as they tried to comprehend the complexities of a guardian. 

“So you’ll come back with us?” Dean asked to clarify.

“Yes, I will.” You said decisively, “But first, I want to say goodbye.”

====================================================================================================================================================================================

You were now sitting in the back of the impala, looking out the window, but your mind was elsewhere. It was with the family you said goodbye to. It was with the father who had taught you the importance acceptance. It was with the mother who held you in her own arms as you fought back the urge to cry after saying goodbye. It was with the little boy who was crying into your shoulder as you sat on the floor with him, holding him in your arms. It was with the family who had taught you how to be strong not only for yourself but for others. A single tear ran down your face now, but you quickly wiped it away so that neither of the brothers would see. But Dean saw. From the driver’s seat, he could see you in the rear view mirror and just caught the glimmer of light reflecting in the teardrop before he watched you wipe it away. He could see you in the mirror, your pale skin and white hair almost glowing in the darkness. Somehow, your pain was echoed inside him and he gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and frowned a little harder as he drove through the night. 

It took two hours of non-stop driving to get back to the bunker. Both boys went straight to bed, but you, not needing to sleep like humans, stayed up. Instead of resting and meditating like you knew you should have been doing, you went to the in-house gym instead. There was a punching back strung up in the centre of the room and you weren’t going to hold back one ounce of strength. Having changed into some more appropriate sports wear and tied your hair up, you began wrapping your hands. As you did so, you let your mind wonder to the pain and hurt inside of you. One of the things that your human mother had told you was that it was okay to feel the bad feelings. Sometimes you had to just let it out. And so you did. Once your hands were neatly wrapped up, you held your position in front of the bag, bouncing slightly on your toes. 

HIT. The first swing felt good. HIT. HIT. The sensation of hitting the bag was familiar from a lot of previous experience and it felt good. HIT. HIT. HIT. You continued hitting and then began kicking too. Your breaths became heavy pants and then turned into grunts. With every punch and kick, you felt the feeling of loss rising inside of you. Your grunts became shouts as you let out your frustration. Your heart was racing and your mind was wondering when suddenly you missed a kick and came tumbling to the ground. With a grunt, you hit the floor. Turning around so that you lay on your back, you looked up at the ceiling. The punching bag was swinging violently above you and the shadow of it came back and forth across your face. 

Lying there, you thought back to the time you had helped Jamie make a swing in the tree by the house. When the little boy became tired and sweaty, you lay next to him on the grass whilst the swing rocked gently back and forth above you both, creating a light breeze. This memory eased your mind. It made you smile. You knew they’d be better off without you. There was nothing to be sad about. You would miss them, but it was for the better. At least now, you had been reunited with the one sole reason that you had fallen from Heaven for. 

“You alright?” Said a voice coming from the doorway. Shocked, you shot your gaze to the origin of the noise and tensed your body, ready to act in the case of danger. When you saw that it was just a tired Dean Winchester, you instantly relaxed. You looked back up at the ceiling, stilling lying on the floor. Wiping the sweat from your forehead, you replied, “Fine, Dean. I’m fine.”

“But you’d hate it if I were the one lying to you, wouldn’t you?” He asked as he lazily shuffled into the gym. He was right. You would hate it, and you were lying.

“I’m just a little sad, Dean. Being around you doesn’t help. Everything I feel is just… intensified… ten thousand times. Every ounce of sadness, every spec of pain. Everything hurts.” 

You sighed and let your arms extend out from you as you lay on the ground. 

“Sorry.” He managed to say. Looking over at him, his eyes were barely open as he stood leaning against a wall. 

“Don’t be.” You said. 

Dean pushed himself off of the wall and gestured for you to walk to him, “Come here.” 

Lifting yourself off the floor, you went to him. As soon as you were within reach, he grabbed you by the arms and pulled your body against his. Suddenly his arms were wrapped tightly around you. Every inch of you that he was touching felt unreal. It felt electric. Your arms were still by your side as you stood there in his hold, stunned. Dean’s hand came around and helped you wrap your own arms around him. You felt his stubble against your neck and just brush your shoulder as he bent down into the embrace. Hugging his body, you turned your face into the crease between his neck and shoulder. You breathed him in, and as you exhaled, it felt as if all the sadness went with the air. Feeling a lot better you squeezed him just a little tighter. You felt the muscles in his back move as he reciprocated and readjusted his hold on you. When he rubbed your back, you understood it as the motion to let go. 

Both of you took a slight step back, but remained close to one another. At first, neither of you spoke, nor showed any sign of emotion. But gradually you both smiled. Then you both gently laughed.

“Feel better?” Dean asked, still chuckling slightly as he rubbed the back of his head, slightly embarrassed.

You looked at him, and smile in a way that reassured him that there was nothing to be embarrassed about, “I feel great. Thank you, Dean.”

====================================================================================================================================================================================

“The book of the what?” Dean asked angrily. It was the next morning. After your embrace, Dean had gone back to bed and you had meditated for the rest of the night. Both of you rose in the morning feeling a lot better than you had the previous day. However, as you knew, things never stayed good for long, and they had been thrown back into the deep end as soon as the day began.

“The Book of the Damned.” Sam repeated, “Charlie says it can help, but she needs our help right now.” He was on the phone with her. From where you were sat, you could hear Charlie’s fear in her voice. Making a quick decision, you jumped up and grabbed the phone. 

“Charlie, my name is Y/N.” You said, determined to help her.

“Y/N? Who-…” 

You didn’t let her finish talking before you disappeared from the bunker and arrived right next to her. Just her saying your name was enough for you to be able to find her location in your mind, connect to her and then go to her. She was standing in a telephone box outside, still speaking into the phone, “…are you?” 

Her eyes widened when she saw you. Out of her bag, she quickly brought up a large knife in an attempt to defend herself from you. You raised your hands in surrender and said, “Charlie, I’m Y/N. I’m here to help. Please put the knife away and come out of the telephone box. I can take you to the boys.”

The redheaded girl looked around, still clearly very afraid. However, she did as you said and stepped towards you. Calmly, you put a hand on her shoulder and brought her back to the boys in the blink of an eye. 

“Charlie!” Sam said as you appeared in front of them. He rushed to her to make sure she was okay. Dean came over to you and out his hand on your arm. When he did, there was that familiar burst of energy, but as you were both used to it, it went ignored, but not unappreciated. When he asked if you were all right, you nodded. 

“Good. Don’t ever do something like that again without consulting us first!” Dean demanded. His voice was louder than he had expected it to be and it led to both Sam and Charlie quickly turning heads. You looked up at Dean, slightly afraid of his sudden anger. 

“Dean, I just wanted to help. She was in danger, I-…”

“It doesn’t matter. No one goes into the field without a plan!”

“I did have a plan, you’re just mad because it didn’t involve you!”

“Are you kidding?!”

“No! Are you?!”

Both of you were getting irrational. You felt it. Staring angrily at one another you felt your energies feeding off one another. Suddenly aware, you made the effort to calm yourself down. You imagined physically cutting the tension and so it began to dissipate. As you let out a breath of air that you had been holding in involuntarily, you saw Dean do the same. 

“Sorry.” He said, rubbing his face, still a little irritated.

“No, don’t worry. I’m sorry.” You replied. You took a moment to rebalance yourself before you turned to Charlie. As you walked towards her you asked, “Charlie, are you alright?”

The girl was stunned. Her eyes were wide as she stared at what had just happened between you and Dean. It happened so fast. 

“Eerrr, yeah. I’m good, thanks.” Charlie managed, “Sorry, who are you, again?”

“My name is Y/N and I’m… I’m an angel.” You quickly shot the brothers a look that told them to trust you. They must have understood because they both nodded subtly. 

“No way!” She exclaimed, “That’s so cool! I’ve never met an angel.”

Then, as if on queue, there was a knock at the door. From the familiar sound of his heartbeat, you could tell it was Castiel. Sam went to open the door as you spoke to Charlie.

“Thank you, Charlie.” You smiled, “Well, today’s a big day then because you’re about to meet a second angel.”

Charlie turned to see Castiel and gasped quietly. 

“Is that who I think it is?” Charlie asked the boys.

“Charlie, Cas. Cas, Charlie.” Sam introduced them. The redhead threw her arms around the angel and you tilted your head in fascination of her immediate friendliness with someone she had just met. It made sense after a moment of thought; she had probably heard a lot about him. Whilst you were thinking, she made some remark about how she thought he’d be taller which only solidified your conclusion. 

Once they had all briefly caught up, Dean spoke up, “So Charlie, tell us about this book.” 

Whilst the four of them spoke sitting around a table in the library, you stood a little further back from them, leaning against a wall. You remained quiet. Cas left at some point to deal with matters he didn’t intend on sharing. Whilst Sam, Dean and Charlie discussed the origins of the book, you maintained your silence. The whole time, you stared uncomfortably at the bag you knew the book was in. You could almost hear something coming from it. Something bad. Something evil. When Sam took it out to have a look, it sent a shiver down your spine. Instinctively, you looked to Dean who had a similar look of discomfort on his face. It was as if he knew you were looking at him because he lifted his head to see you. As you studied his face and noticed that there was something different in his expression. There was something you hadn’t seen before. It was fear. He tried to mask it with his usual frown, but you could see passed it. He was scared. And so were you. 

“I don’t like it.” You said, pushing yourself off the wall. You walked over to the table, placed your hands on the surface and leant forward. 

“But there’s a cure for Dean in here. I-…” Charlie began.

“There must be some kind of a price. With magic that strong, the price can’t be anything good.” You explained. The three of them looked at you, all with a similar expression of confusion. 

“It may be our only shot at removing the mark, Y/N.” Sam said, begging you to understand his case. You had nothing to say in response. You knew he was right. You knew no other way of removing the mark. Helplessly, you looked to Dean, trying to apologise with your eyes. A dull silence filled the room, but Dean’s gaze remained on you as he tried to gather his thoughts. 

“I’m hungry.” He said, suddenly standing up, trying to change the atmosphere of the room, “Are you hungry, Charlie? Y/N, let’s go on a food run.” 

You looked at him, slightly confused. You had the ability to materialise anything in front of you, food included. Yet, he wanted to leave the safety of the bunker. 

“But Dean, I can just-…”

“No, you can’t,” he interrupted, “We’re going out on a food run.”


	2. For better or for worse.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Through rough times, you learn the power that Dean has over you; but more importantly the power the mark has over the both of you. In an intense fight, you realise the extent of what you can accomplish together, but at what cost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are enjoying this as much as I am! Haha :) comments always welcome, let me know what you think :3 Thanks for reading.

“But Dean, I can just-…”

“No, you can’t,” he interrupted, “We’re going out on a food run.”

 

Before you knew it, Dean had grabbed you by the hand and was dragging you up the stairs, out the door and into the impala. You thought it best to remain quiet, and follow his wishes. You could feel the tension inside him, he wasn’t happy. You waited until twenty minutes of silent driving had passed before you put your hand on his leg and spoke.

“Dean, everything will be fine.”

He shot a heartbreakingly sad expression of disbelief at you. There was not one ounce of him that believed he would make it through this, and you could feel all of that doubt inside of you as well. But it was his doubt, not yours. As his guardian, you knew that you should never, would refuse to ever believe his death was inevitable. 

“Whether our souls are merged or not,” You continued, “I’m your guardian and I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Not as long as I live.”

It was at that moment that Dean realised the extent of your situation. You were his. In every aspect of the word; his. The sole reason for your existence on this Earth was him and no one, nothing else. You were now facing the road ahead, frowning ever so gently. He looked at you for a moment in an attempt to fully appreciate that God, or whoever was running things upstairs now, had sent you to him. 

“I just don’t see a way out of this one, Y/N.” Dean sighed, looking down at the mark on his arm. You caught his line of sight and landed where his gaze did. The mark, red as it was, always looked at if it were burrowing itself deeper into his skin. It looked as though it were scoring a scar that would never leave. You felt the pain he felt and touched your hand to the mark. As if the mark muted the bond between you, there was no spark this time. You felt heat under your fingers, but it seemed to be the pure evil resonating out of Dean’s skin. You gasped at the sensation and he reacted by pulling his sleeve down to cover it. 

“We’ll figure something out.” You said, and believed. You had to. 

Dean pulled up next to a gas station. Both of you headed for the store and started grabbing a lot of unhealthy foods and a lot of alcoholic drinks. You were sure it was Dean’s effect on you, because you knew exactly what he wanted, and you wanted it too. Having scavenged the store separately, you met up again at the front, ready to pay. 

“Having a party?” The guy at the till asked in a southern accent. He had a strange look about him. His smile was somehow disturbing and the way he held himself told you not to trust him. You instinctively edged a little closer to Dean and spread your legs a little further apart to gain a more balanced stance. You felt Dean’s suspicion as well, but didn’t let yourself look at him.

“Something like that.” He said as he too readjusted his position in order to gain more balance. 

“That’ll be thirty dollars and seventy-five cents.” The man said, holding his hand out for the money. Dean went to give him the payment and noticed a tattoo on his wrist. Instantly, he recognised it as the crest that belonged to the family who were trying to recover the Book of the Damned. The Stynes. You saw it too and caught on to Dean’s thought process. Surprisingly, Dean smiled and simply took the food and drinks. He held you by your upper arm and slowly walked out of the store, as casually as he could. As soon as you both got out he whispered, “You can fly right?” 

You quickly answered, “Yes, why-…”

“Take us up. High. Right now.” 

Although still unsure what he was planning, you did as he told. Grabbing him by his torso, you lifted him into the sky with you as fast as you could. As you jumped up, you grunted from the sudden expulsion of energy, and Dean dropped the newly bought groceries so that he could hold onto you. The night sky gave you cover, so that the Stynes couldn’t see you. They had no idea where you had gone. 

Somehow, you barely felt Dean’s weight in the air. It wasn’t as if you were carrying him, but more like you were giving him the ability to fly with you. All you had to do was keep contact with him, so you held onto his upper arm and moved so that you both had a clear view of the Stynes below. 

There were two of them. One of them checked the bags that Dean had just dropped and then all of the cars parked within the vicinity. The other ran out onto the road to try and catch a glimpse of a car driving away. But of course, both of them came up short for any sign of you. 

“Dean,” you whispered, “what are we doing?”

You could just about make out his face in the darkness. His furrowed brow and stern face told you that he wasn’t in any mood to be fooled by this family. You felt his anger and you let it enter your body as well. As soon as you let in his energy, you felt stronger and more willing to do what ever Dean had planned.

“We’re going to take out this god damned family.”

================================================================================================================================================================================

You’d been following them all night. Luckily, they’d reached their home, or estate or whatever it was, by sun-rise. Had they been travelling any longer, they would have spotted you and Dean in the sky. The house was massive. Crouching behind a wall for cover you gave Dean a look that told him this wasn’t going to be easy. He barely responded to you, too focused on the task to think about that. You could see that the mark was beginning to take hold of him, he was losing his humanity and it took a lot of your strength to maintain your own. You knew that as soon as Dean got inside that house, he’d be gone. He’d be hard to get back. With all of these thoughts running through your mind, you decided that he shouldn’t be here. That this was a mistake. You touched his arm, ready to get him out of there in the blink of an eye, but Dean did something that changed your mind. 

As soon as Dean felt your hand on him he turned to you. He brought his hand up to your face and held your head in his hand just under your ear. As he looked into your dark grey eyes, his thumb gently brushed your cheek. It was calming, but there was something in the grip that felt different. Without realising, Dean was feeding you his energy. He was feeding you the evil of the mark. Slowly, your eyes faded darker and darker until your irises were completely black. Dean noticed and frowned, but then, understanding that you were with him, he smiled. Suddenly, any doubt you had that this was the wrong thing to do was gone. You smiled back at him.

Having worked out a plan, you were both ready. From behind the wall, you now both stood. Your hand was placed on Dean’s back as you stood slightly behind him. A guard on the front door went to shout something, but within a second you and Dean were right in front of him. Moving fast, Dean brought his gun up to the guy’s head and shot, the noised muted by a silencer. 

Slowly, you both entered the house. Daylight flooded through the windows and immediately in front of you, you saw a flight of stairs and a balcony. Both of you tread lightly; you lighter then Dean because you had raised yourself slightly off the floor. Listening intently, you shadowed Dean as he continued walking forward. You could hear heartbeats. Lots of them. They were getting louder. They were getting faster. They were coming for you.

“Dean!” You shouted as a dozen men came and surrounded the balcony, shooting at you both. Grabbing Dean by his jacket, you pulled him back. Not realising the strength you had, Dean felt himself get thrown back and he grunted as he hit the floor. As he looked up to try and help you, he saw something he’d never even imagined possible. As if a tidal wave came from within you, your whole body pulsed once as a colossal amount of invisible energy exploded out from your chest. You let out a controlled scream as the wave escaped your body and sent the men flying back from their positions. You had only ever done this once before and it had knocked you unconscious for two days. But with Dean by your side, you were stronger than ever. As soon as the men were down, you turned to Dean and offered him an arm to help him up. 

Dean looked bewildered but kept his gun up. You could see him scanning the balcony which was completely destroyed. It was as if an earthquake had hit just the area expanding out in front of where you were standing. 

“They’re dead.” You said. You knew that anyone standing within fifty yards of you when you released that amount of energy would not have made it out alive. Everything inside them would be completely useless; total internal bleeding and cranial shut down. It was a power you usually would never use, but with the dark energy of the mark running through your body, you didn’t even think twice.

“Let’s go.” Dean said as he headed down a corridor on the right. It must have been the majority of the family that you had just taken out because there was no one else around. As you followed Dean, you took the effort to listen to the building, trying to pinpoint the location of the remaining heartbeats. Eventually you found them. In the basement, far from the entrance that you had just destroyed, you found the three remaining heartbeats. You and Dean stood outside the door for a little, as you listened to what was happening inside. 

“Two men and a woman.” You whispered. Dean’s stone cold face was looking at you as you listened, eyes closed. Opening your eyes, his expression relaxed a little and you smiled, “Should be a piece of pie.”

This dark energy was completely consuming the both of you. It was like a drug entering your system, and with every passing moment, the dosage was getting higher and higher. You had never felt so strong. But you had also never felt so dark. It was like the force that was giving you strength, was simultaneously removing your light, your grace, your humanity. Suddenly, aware of what you had just done you quietly gasped and felt the mark’s effect leave your body. Your breaths became short and your eyes widened when you realised what you were doing. Dean must have momentarily snapped out of it too because his hands were now at either side of your face as he tried to calm you down.

“What-... Dean-… What are we doing? We can’t-…” You muttered frantically.

“We-…” Dean was cut off by the door opening and an arm coming out and punching him in the face. He hit the floor unconscious and you angrily turned to make for the attacker. All of the dark energy now flooded back into your body. Then, you heard a gunshot. A shot gun. You turned to face the noise and saw an old, white-haired man in a lab coat holding the weapon. It was directed at you. Looking down at your body, you saw blood everywhere. It hurt like nothing on Earth and you felt yourself ready to pass out, but you leapt forward anyway in an attempt to protect Dean. 

BOOM. Another shot to your chest. You fell backwards and down to the ground. Before black, the last thing you saw was Dean, out cold on the floor next to you. 

When you woke up, you immediately heard the three people around you. You kept your eyes closed and your movements to a minimum. They probably thought you were dead, and you wanted to keep it that way. Instead, you listened and you felt what was around you. You were lying on a table. It was hard and cold; metal. You listened for Dean’s heartbeat. He was still unconscious. The two men in the room were discussing body parts, which to keep, which to throw. What were they talking about? None of this made sense to you. 

Dean woke up. You heard his heartbeat momentarily rise, but then he managed to regain his composure. It was the power of the mark that allowed you both to maintain calm. You both had such little humanity at this moment that neither of you felt fear. 

“Morning, sunshine.” Said, you assumed, the old man, “Munroe Styne. Pleasure.”

His voice made you angry. His tone was so nonchalant. He thought he had the upper hand in the room, but he was wrong. You’d been left untied. You were ready to act when the time was right. 

“Ditto,” Dean replied, cocky as ever, “I’d shake your hand but eerrr-…” He tugged on his restraints. 

“Quite a dent, you made up there, huh?” The old man continued, “You know, those folks were my family.” You could hear the anger slowly rising in his voice. You were glad you’d managed to boil his blood. He continued, “Now, I don’t think it’s right that I didn’t get a fair revenge. See, your girly over there?”

Dean turned his head to see, what he thought, was you, dead. You felt his pain rise inside him and his heartbeat quickened at the sight of you. 

“Well, she’s just the first piece of my revenge, you see?”

The old man waited for Dean to say something, but he was too concerned with you. He was scanning your body, looking for any sign of life. He knew that you couldn’t have been dead. Desperately searching, he ignored the old man’s queue to speak. You knew that your captors were focused on Dean, so you twitched your finger to let him know that you were alive. You heard his relief in the way his heartbeat changed rhythm for just a split second. 

“You see, what I’m gonna do, boy, is I’m gonna take you apart. I’m gonna take your body parts, make them my own. And then I’ll use your very own two hands to kill the ones you hold dear. And don’t think I don’t know who they are. I’ve got my men heading over to your precious Men of Letter’s bunker right now to kill anyone and every one in there. You can say goodbye to that place, we’re gonna burn the whole thing.”

Shocked, Dean spun his head round to stare the old man in the eyes. 

“That’s right. I know all about you. I’ve done my research, Dean Winchester.” 

“Y/N! Now!” Dean shouted. Without hesitation, you shot up from the table and flew straight for the old man. The strength the mark gave Dean allowed him to pull his arms up and break the restraints. Having knocked the old man to the floor, you went for the younger guy who was about to get to Dean. Taking a knife from a table, you grabbed him from behind and brought the knife down into the guy’s skull. As you were doing this, you saw the woman try to come at you with a syringe filled with something definitely not good, but Dean intercepted her. He picked her body up and slammed her down onto the table that he had just broken free from. As you rammed the knife into the guy’s skull, Dean plunged the syringe into the woman’s chest. You both finished with your victims at the same time and simultaneously turned to face Munroe Styne who was now headed for the door. Dean ran to him, forcing Styne’s body against the metal door before turning him around and getting him into a choke hold. 

“It’s too late,” the Munroe said, struggling to speak with Dean’s arms around his throat. You walked over to them, wielding a knife in your hands. He continued to speak, “Everyone-… everything you love-… will be gone.”

As you stood in front of the two men, you looked to your left and saw the shot gun that he had shot you with. You almost laughed as you picked it up and aimed it at the old man. Dean nodded at you, understanding that you wanted to do this. As fast as Dean moved, you followed suit. Dean let go of Styne and kicked him forward before diving out of the way. The instant Dean was out of range, you took your shot at Munroe, partly in the chest, partly in the face. The man fell down to the floor, completely bloodied. You and Dean stood over him. Somehow, he wasn’t dead. He only took one breath before Dean stomped on his head, shattering the skull. 

Dean didn’t waste anytime, “We need to get back to the bunker. Now.” You went to hold his arm, but his hand came out to meet yours. Holding onto each other firmly hand in hand, you took him back to the bunker. Out of no where you appeared in the library to see a man and a younger boy putting all of the books into a messy pile in the middle of the room. 

“You again.” The guy said. It was the same guy from the gas station. His voice still as irritating as ever. Dean lifted his hand slightly and gestured for you to back away. You leant against a wall, watching the scene unravel. As the two men spoke to each other, you watched the younger boy standing there, scared out of his mind. A quick glance at you and he shuddered at the sight. You remembered the two shots that you had taken to the torso and realised how bloody you must be. The kid looked back at the two older men, and he clearly didn’t want to be there. You could see that. He was shaking and when you listened, you could hear his heart pumping as fast as it could without killing him. No warning given, Dean shot the older Styne right between the eyes, and then aimed at the boy. The sudden shot shocked the mark’s effect out of you and it felt as though all of the air had been sucked out of your lungs. It hurt, but there was relief in the feeling too. Your eyes widened when you realised Dean’s intended actions. 

“Dean, stop!” You shouted. It was a command and Dean listened. His finger came off the trigger but he held his ground and his gun up. 

“Why should I?” he asked.

“Because he’s just a kid.” You said.

“He’s going to grow up to be like them. Monsters!”

“You don’t know that.”

“I won’t!” The little boy whimpered. As much as he was trying to help, he just wasn’t and both you and Dean spat, “Shut up.”

“Dean, leave him. He’s just lost his whole family.”

“He’s going to come and try and avenge them later on in life. I know how it goes.”

“You don’t know that!”

“I won’t! I won’t!” The kid cried.

“Shut. Up!” You shouted. Dean’s finger was on the trigger again.

“Dean, don’t!” You commanded, “Let him go. If he does become a monster, we’ll get him.”

Yet Dean still didn’t put his gun down. You walked slowly over to him. Trying not to make any sudden movements that would make him act quickly, you gently raised your arm. You touched your hand to his hand that held the gun and brought it down. When the gun was by his side, you heard him turn on the safety and he walked away, leaving you and the boy alone in the library. Although you were glad and relieved that you had managed to talk Dean down, you regained your angry persona and stepped toward the boy.

“You even THINK about harming someone,” you threatened him, “and I will kill you.” 

That wasn’t even the mark talking for you, it was one hundred percent you. You were so angry that all of this, that this kid’s family had managed to blind Dean’s humanity. The boy frantically nodded at you. In the blink of an eye you took him to a random field, in a random town, in a random state, then left him there before returning to the bunker to find Dean.

You found him in his room, sitting on his bed. He was staring at the mark. Covered in blood, Dean looked up at you with a face that begged for forgiveness. No one said a word but you knew exactly what he was trying to say. Instead of speaking, you sat down next to him and held him in your arms. He wrapped his arms around you and you felt his tears dampening your t-shirt as he tried to let go of his pain. As he held you, the bullet wounds in your torso ached but you breathed through the pain. You brushed the back of his head, feeling his soft hair in your hands as you attempted to sooth him. The dark energy was slowly emptying from both of your bodies and the electric sensation sparked up between your contact again. The aching in your body began to fade as Dean’s touch gave you the power you needed in order to start self-healing. As you breathed out onto his skin, you tried to give him back some of the power he was giving you. Feeling the movements inside his body, you sensed your energy was beginning to take effect. You smiled now, knowing that he’d be alright eventually, but Dean only held onto you tighter. 

“Everything will be fine… right?” He whispered into your neck. He was trying to convince himself that he’d be fine. You knew he didn’t believe it yet, but it was a start.

“So long as we both shall live.”


	3. Lying is no use.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find out how it feels to only have one person who you can wholly trust; it hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, these may be coming in slower now that my exams are getting closer. But don't worry, this isn't not stopping any time soon. I'm having too much fun writing it :)
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you like it :3

“Everything will be fine… right?” He whispered into your neck. He was trying to convince himself that he’d be fine. You knew he didn’t believe it yet, but it was a start.

“So long as we both shall live.” 

 

It was only around midday now, but you were both exhausted. Gently, you coaxed Dean further back onto the bed. You edged your body backwards and pulled him with you. You tugged on his shirt and kept his head near yours with your hand in his hair, continually stroking as you went. He, completely at your will in this moment, followed as your body told him. You managed to get him lying out on the bed and put his head down onto the pillow. Sitting on the edge of the bed now, you looked down at him. His eyes were already closed but he kept his frown, clearly still distressed from his actions. It must also have been tiring for him as his body tried to fight the mark of Cain whilst simultaneously trying to accept your powerful energy. Putting a hand to his forehead, you traced your hand along his skin, trying to give him comfort. His frown began to fade as your fingers lightly touched the lines across his forehead. Just as your hand was about to leave his head, he brought his own hand up and held yours. Opening his eyes, he scanned your body and saw the blood everywhere. Your wounds were beginning to heal now, but they were still very much open and sore. You saw the panic flash across his face and he squeezed your hand about to say something.

“I’ll be fine.” You said, showing him the ever so slightly healed wounds through a rip in your shirt, “You get some rest, okay?”

He nodded at you and closed his eyes again. You gave his hand on final squeeze before you let go and walked out his room. As you turned out of the door, you glanced at him one last time. He was asleep, but still looked so hurt, so at war with himself. With a sigh, you made your way to the library to clean up the mess you had left. 

The dead Styne lay in a pool of his own blood by the giant pile of books. You knelt over the body and brought a hand to it. It was so cold. Decisively, you used your powers to bring the body to a lake near his family’s house. Hovering above the water, the body suspended mid-air with you, you looked around. No one was around as you had expected, so you dropped the body. Slowly it began to sink, dragged down by the weight you attached to its waist, and you watched it as the image of it faded into the darkness of the water. With a shudder, you quickly returned to the bunker. 

One by one you returned the books to the shelves after you had cleaned up the pool of blood. With every movement, your wounds made themselves known. The pain ranged from a dull ache to a sharp pain, but you breathed through it, knowing that the healing process would take time. Underneath the books, you found a photo of the boys with, you managed to recall, Bobby. They were smiling and the expressions were ones that you hadn’t seen before. It made you smile too but a single tear fell from your eye as you longed to bring the Winchesters happiness. 

After an hour or so of cleaning, you heard keys at the door and turned to see Sam making his way in. As he descended the stairs he saw your bloodied figure and gasped.

“Y/N! What happened?” He shouted, running over to you, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Sam,” You explained, not realising how much it hurt to talk until now, “Dean and I went to see the Stynes.”

Sam was helping you sit down at one of the tables. He sat in the chair next to you, and turned his body to face you. As he tucked his hair behind his ears, he asked, “Well? What happened?”

“We-…” You knew there was no way to say this without it sounding as bad as it was, “We killed them all.” 

You couldn’t bear to look at him. Instead you kept your eyes fixed to the table as you held one of the more painful wounds on your abdomen. Sam kept silent, trying to gather his thoughts and understand what you had just said.

“All of them?” 

You nodded at first, but then remembered the boy you’d let live, “Actually, there was a kid.”

“A kid?!”

“We let him live. Well, I made Dean let him go.”

There was a pause. 

“And you killed them all together?” Sam asked, “You can tell me if it was Dean, Y/N. I know how bad he can get. How bad the mark can make him.”

“Actually, I killed most of them.” Your breaths were becoming faster and you were beginning to find it difficult to speak. The realisation that you had just murdered over a dozen people made you feel a little sick. The only thing that kept you sane was the knowledge that you were acting in defence of Dean. You managed to continue, “Dean only killed three people. I killed over a dozen. At once.” With the last word, your head fell into your hands and you released the air from your lungs. Trying to breathe deeply, you felt Sam’s hand come to your back momentarily before he got up. You lifted your head to see him pacing back and forth. 

“Y/N, I know you’re not human, but you can’t go around using your powers like that. I’m assuming you used your powers because… well, because! Y/N, you-…”

“You think I don’t know that, Sam?” You said, keeping a calm voice. You didn’t think Sam understood how disappointed you were in yourself, how mad you were at yourself. You continued, trying to keep a level head, “I know that. But you don’t know what it’s like to have that mark effect you.”

“What?” Sam rushed over to you and sat down again, “You can feel the mark?”

You nodded, “Yes, I can. It’s powerful, Sam. It’s like nothing I’d ever imagined. I’m a guardian and I’m strong, but that thing…”

The younger brother ran a hand through his hair, all the while looking at you, studying your face. Silence fell between the two of you. Sam was now leaning back in his chair, staring off into nothing, clearly lost in his own thoughts. You allowed yourself to think as well. Think about what had just happened and how close the Stynes had gotten to taking everything away from Dean. Then you realised that the bunker was empty when you had gotten there. Where had Sam and Charlie gone?

“Sam.” You said suspiciously. When he looked up at you, you continued, “Where were you?”

For a split second, Sam look guilty but managed to cover it with confusion, “What do you mean?”

“The Stynes were here. They were looking to kill you. But you weren’t here. Where were you?”

He looked around, but you forced him to keep eye contact with you by staring him down. You spoke again to get his attention, “Sam.”

“Alright, alright,” He said with his hands up in surrender, “Charlie and I went to burn the book.”

“Burn the book, huh?” You repeated in disbelief. Glaring at him, you listened to his heart and watched his eyes. His heartbeat had quickened, he was lying, but he nodded at you. Sam wanted you to believe that he had burnt the book, but what had he really done with it? Deciding to play along, you spoke, “And it worked? It burned?”

Sam nodded again, clearly not wanting to lie directly to you again. Feeling rather done with him and his lies, you got up and left him. Before you exited the room, you turned and asked, “Would you mind please putting away those last few books?”

The younger brother looked upset but agreed that he’d tidy up. He could see that you were still clearly healing so didn’t mind taking off some of the burden. You could hear him moving about as you headed down one of the hallways and made for the bathroom. 

As you entered, you switched the lights on. They buzzed and flickered for a while before a harsh consistent, white light developed. You looked at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were a deep purple now and there were grey patches under them; it must have been the exhaustion taking a toll on your close-to-mortal body. This dark purple must have been the colour they went when you were worn-out and drained of power, because that’s how you felt. Through your ripped t-shirt that was now stained slightly brown now due to the dry blood, you could see the bullet wounds, not quite healed yet. It was as if something was preventing you from healing. Pressing a hand to the wound, you felt a solid bump underneath the skin. The bullets. They were still inside your body, preventing you from being able to fully heal. Sighing, you leant on the sink. It would be hard to get the bullets out, especially the ones that were lodged into your ribcage. 

As if on queue, Dean came into the bathroom. He jumped slightly at the sight of you. You had now removed your top and were stood there in your bra and jeans. You were trying to get the bullets out of your abdomen. 

“Oh, sorry.” You said as you saw his shock. Seeing what you were attempting, he quickly brushed off the embarrassment of walking in on you and he came to your side. Dean’s green eyes looked into yours as he spoke, “No, it’s my fault I should’ve knocked. Are you alright?”

“Actually, you came just in time.” You said, smiling a little, “Could you please help me get the bullets out of my side? I can’t heal with them in there.”

Dean hands came to your waist as he turned your body to get a better look at the wounds. You softly gasped a little as his hands touched your skin. You could feel the roughness of his hands against the softness of your stomach. It was comforting. 

“Jesus, Y/N.” He sighed, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean-… I never wanted to-…”

“Dean, stop.” You said, not wanting him to ever have to apologise to you, “We both went in there knowing what could happen. Besides, he wasn’t a very good shot anyway.” You wanted to make him feel better and to chuckle, but he didn’t. As Dean examined your side, you watched him in the mirror. His fingers were gently tracing the wounds to feel for the bullets. 

Suddenly he took your arm and led you back to his room. He let go of you when the both of you had entered and began rummaging through the drawers in his desk. Taking you by the hand, he brought you over to the desk and shone the harsh desk light onto your side. You could feel the warmth of the bulb against your skin. Dean had found some pliers and was about to start digging into your skin before he stopped himself.

“Let me just go sanitize these. Who knows what they’re been used for?” He chuckled slightly finally, but quickly cleared his throat and maintained his frown.

“Dean it’s fine. I’ll heal.” You said, raising your arm up for him to gain access to the wounds.

He shrugged but then proceeded to try and get the bullets out. He let you rest your arm on his shoulder as he did. It stung a little and you had to try your best not to show Dean that he was hurting you. There were only three in you, that’s how terrible of a shot it was, but by the third bullet, you were gripping Dean’s shoulder so tight that even he was wincing in pain. He kept apologizing and saying that he could stop, but you didn’t let him. Finally the bullets had been removed and you relaxed your body. You lifted your arm above your head to get a better look at the wounded area and could already see the holes in your skin beginning to slowly close up. Dean handed you one of his t-shirts to wear and you both sat on the edge of his bed in silence.

“How are you feeling?” You asked him after the silence became too consuming. Dean took a big breath of air and a moment before he answered.

“Tired.” 

“Did you not manage to sleep?”

“No, I did. But when I woke up, I just felt…” He couldn’t find his words properly. Nothing could describe how he felt. 

“I understand. I feel it too.”

“Do you feel everything I feel?” 

You weren’t sure what the answer to that question was. During the four months you had spent away from the Winchesters, you had managed to learn what your emotions felt like and how to control them. But now, constantly with Dean, what were his emotions and what were yours began to blur together. It was hard to tell what you were feeling. Your silence answered his question. He didn’t know whether to apologise or not. He knew that if he did, you would just tell him not to be, and then he’d remember that he was the only reason you existed and that being sorry wasn’t going to change that fact. 

You were enjoying the silence, but you knew that eventually you’d have to leave Dean’s room and face the world. Wanting to rest for a little while, you fell back onto the bed. Dean remained sitting up so you could see his back from where you were lying; your legs still dangling off the bed next to his. In the quiet, all you could hear was him; his breathing, his heart. His smell rose off the t-shirt you were now wearing. It was too big for you but the material was loose on your body in a way that felt comforting.

“Sam is outside, by the way.” You said after a while or more silence.

“Fantastic.”

“I cleaned up the body, so he didn’t see it. But, I told him what I did.”

“What you did? Y/N, we both did it. Don’t put the blame all on you.”

“Do you regret what we did?” You asked as you sat up to look at his face.

Dean paused for a moment. His frowned intensified when he replied, “Not for one second.” He looked at you to try and reassure you that what you had done was right, “They threatened Charlie’s life chasing her down. They threatened our lives. They were willing to take everything from us. And don’t forget that they chopped up innocent people and do God knows what with their body parts! The Stynes had it coming.”

When he saw that his words didn’t really comfort you that much, he put his hand on your knee, “Y/N, I get it now. We’re in this together. Just like you won’t let anything happen to me, I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

Dean didn’t know that he could feel this way about someone in such short space of time. But it made sense that he felt this way. You weren’t just a random person, you were his Guardian. He gathered that the protectiveness he felt over you was due to that. He wondered about merging souls with you. He recalled that you said once merged, your bond would grow stronger. But he also remembered that once merged, if he dies, you die. Dean couldn’t stand to think about that. He’d accepted his own imminent death a long time ago, he knew that he’d probably die for the greater good. But if he were to die, and then drag you down with him, that would not be for any one’s good. He tried to push that thought out of his mind. Giving your leg a decisive hit, he stood up and said, “Let’s go see Sammy.”

As he headed for the door, you called out to him “Dean, wait.” When he turned, you continued, “Sam lied to me about something.”

Dean tilted his head to the side, clearly slightly angry by what you had just told him. He stepped towards you and you stood up to talk to him, “He lied to me about where he was when we came back to the bunker.”

“What did he say? And how do you know he was lying?”

“I can hear the change in his heartbeat. He said that he went to burn the book with Charlie, but he was lying. I don’t know what he was doing.”

For a moment Dean just stared at you. You could see his face alter from anger, to disbelief, to hurt. He turned around and spoke as he began walking out of the room, “Well, let’s go find out the truth.”

Sam was sitting at a table in the library when you both came out. When he looked up and saw how tired and angry Dean looked he stood.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” The little brother asked, giving you a concerned look as well. You knew this wasn’t your place to get involved so you stayed back, and quiet. Although you had sort of snitched on Sam, you knew that Dean would want to know why Sam had lied to you. 

“I don’t know, you tell me.” Dean said, his voice as deep as ever.

“Wh-… What do you mean?” Sam looked at you now, worried. 

“Y/N, tells me you lied to her about burning the book.” Dean was almost shouting, “Well? What happened?”

Sam was leaning back, away from his older brother who was getting closer and closer to him. You could see Dean’s hands were clenched hard into fists; white knuckles. Sam kept eye contact to try and sell his honesty but it didn’t work. Dean’s aggressive stare was too much and he cracked.

“Fine!” Sam yelled, “Alright? Fine. Charlie and I went to talk to… Rowena. Castiel had already found her, we just needed to talk to her. We needed to… figure out a deal.”

“A deal?! Sammy, what are you doing? You can’t make a deal with that psycho witch!”

“You know what? I can, Dean! This is the ONLY option we have and I’m taking it!” With that, Sam grabbed his jacket and began making for the door. Suddenly worried, you stood up from leaning against a wall and took a step toward Sam. Dean put his hand out so that it hovered in front of your stomach. You stopped and looked at Dean.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Dean asked Sam.

“To save my brother.” He said as he slammed the door closed behind him. 

Before even discussing it with Dean, he was already on the same page as you. He held his hand out for you to hold. In the space of one second, you were next to Castiel. It took you a moment to gauge where you were. It was some sort of abandoned building. The woman who you assumed was Rowena was staring at you like a deer in headlights and Charlie was sat across the room from you with the book. Both redheads were staring at you, speechless. Letting go of Dean’s hand you went for the book. Taking it in your hands, Charlie didn’t even stop you. She only looked into your black eyes, frightened. You weren’t sure when you got so angry, but it must have been because of Dean. 

When you turned with the book in hand, you saw Castiel standing behind Dean. The angel was looking at you with such apologetic eyes. His eyebrows were raised ever so slightly and he was about to talk but you glared at him, silencing him. He had hurt you by going behind your back, by not telling you things that you needed to know. You thought of him as your own guardian, but he had just broken your trust, as did Sam and Charlie. Looking at Dean, he was the only one you wanted to be with right now. His hand was out for you again. He hadn’t looked at anyone else in the room the whole time you were there, only you. 

“Take us somewhere they won’t be able to find us.” He whispered to you as you took his hand. And so you did.


	4. Time spent together.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your bond with Dean is growing and it couldn't be more needed. He needs you now more than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so my final exam is coming up soon and then I leave for a short holiday. This means you probably won't get any more for about a week or two! So sorry! I'm trying my best :) I should probably make these chapters a little longer... I'll work on that.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it! Comment and let me know what you think :)
> 
> Update 11/07/15: So sorry that I haven't written any more! I'm currently away with family for a whole month and the Internet is so shabby. I'm trying to write on my phone but it's just not the same. I promise I'll work on it as much as I can and hopefully you'll have something incredible to read in August! Thanks so much for all the support you've been giving me! It really means a lot :) hope you are all having wonderful summers!

“Take us somewhere they won’t be able to find us.” He whispered to you as you took his hand. And so you did. 

 

            Both of you had closed your eyes as you willed your bodies to be in another place. When you opened them, it was dark and warm. The ground under your shoes felt soft and gave a little as you stepped back an inch from Dean who had put his arm around your waist. It would take a moment for your eyes to adjust so while you both stood there blind, you held onto each other. You couldn’t hear Dean the way you were normally able to. Something was drowning out the sound of his heart and his breath. There was a constant sound. It was like a hushing sound but louder, more forceful. Taking in a deep breath, the air felt a lot thicker than usual and had a very distinct smell that was new to you

            “The ocean.” Dean whispered in awe as he gazed over to his left to see a wide expanse of water, lit only by the moon and the stars above. You followed his line of sight and were equally as taken aback by the scene that greeted you. Dean’s arms slowly released you as he almost stumbled back, completely speechless in front of such an incredible sight. You saw him smile and the tension in your body immediately subsided.

Something in the back of your mind told you that he hadn’t been to a beach before and must have been why your body naturally took you both here. Looking at Dean, he seemed so different now. Like there was a piece of him that had been missing the whole time you had known him, and now it was slowly starting to fill, even if only temporarily. He walked towards the water, the waves gently crashing. Dean dropped the book into the dry sand as he stood just before the water. You didn’t follow. You let him have his moment of peace alone. You saw his shoulder rise and fall as he took in a deep breath of the salty air. You felt the weight fall off of your own shoulders as he did.

The wind was in his hair and Dean could feel the warmth touching his skin. With a deep breath he tried to let go of all the anger he had been holding in, and for once it actually went. He felt the weight off his shoulders, and hoped you did too. Turning to look at you, he saw your pale skin and white hair almost glowing in the darkness. The wind gently picked up your hair and he watched as is danced with the breeze ever so elegantly. With a tilt of his head he gestured for to join him and so you did.

Side by side, the two of you watched the moonlight dance on the ocean’s surface. Suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to submerge yourself, you began taking off your shoes. Dean didn’t say a word but followed your actions. Knowing full well that you were on an undiscovered island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, you knew you were safe. In comfortable silence, you both began taking off your clothes until you were wearing only underwear. You admired Dean’s body but were saddened by the number of scars that were highlighted by the dark light of the moon. Slowly, you began walking towards the water. As you put your first foot into the sea, you felt all the energy of all the creatures within the ocean and you gasped. Every animal was clearly present in your mind and it almost became too much but the sound of Dean’s breath brought you back down into the moment. The coldness of the water was what took Dean’s breath away as he gasped from behind you. You heard him splashing and laughing gently as he tried to catch up with you. Turning your head, you caught his gaze as he stepped up next to you. The water was by your waist now and everything seemed so perfect. So quiet. So simple.

Eventually you were both floating in the water. You could feel the sea gentle playing with your hair. You looked up into the night’s sky, always making sure you were aware of Dean’s presence. He was next to you, but in his own world. You both were. As you gazed at the sparkling stars, you let your mind empty and fell into a meditative state. As Dean watched the stars glisten, he tried to let his mind empty, but all he could think about was you. The simplicity of the relationship you shared, the raw bond you had, and it was like nothing he had ever imagined possible. He knew it was only because of some higher power that you were there, but he was so grateful. Dean found himself thanking the stars because he didn’t know if there was a god. You almost looked like a star to him at this moment as you shone in the darkness.

Hours later when you both had dried off, you sat next to Dean on the sand in front of a fire he had managed to make. Both of you were yet to speak. There was something so calming in the silence, but you both knew that there were things that needed to be discussed. Knowing he was probably hungry, you materialised a deli sandwich for him. You had found out that you couldn’t just make things appear from nowhere, but instead you just stole them from a place you thought of in your mind, so you very rarely used this power anymore. As he tucked into it, you spoke.

“Dean, we need to figure out a plan.” You eyed the book as it laid a few metres away from you, wrapped up in that dirty old rag. It was calling to you, to both of you and it needed to go. Dean looked at it too and after a moment shook his head to try and get rid of the thoughts it put in his mind.

“We burn the book.” He said decisively with a bite of sandwich still in his mouth.

“That thing is pure evil. It can not be burnt.” You explained, not sure where the knowledge came from.

“Fantastic.”

“We could hide it?”

“We need the box that Sam had it in to hide that thing. And then we’d somehow have to put it at the bottom of this ocean.” He spoke with doubt in his voice, but you knew you could do it.

“I can do it.” Before Dean could protest you had made it appear in your hands, “I have the box, see?”

“Y/N-…”

“It’s not dangerous for me to go down there, if that’s what you were thinking.”

“But the bottom of the ocean? Really? That’s not dangerous?”

“Didn’t Crowley get the First Blade from the bottom of the ocean?”

“Something like that.”

“Well if he can do it, so can I.”

You got up and retrieved the book before putting it firmly inside the box. Dean watched you nervously as you handled the book. He followed you as you walked with it to the edge of the water. You knelt down and put your hand in the water. Closing you eyes, you tried to absorb and comprehend all the energy from the sea. As you did so, an image of the sea floor became clear in your mind and you found the deepest trench. Opening you eyes again you stood up and faced Dean.

“Be careful, okay?” Dean said with his trademark frown on his forehead again. On the last word he pulled from your shoulders into his body. Your arms were stuck around the box that was now squished between your bodies. Dean had his arms around your shoulders and brought one hand up to hold the back of his head. You felt his lips gently brush the top of your head as he squeezed a little tighter. Surprised at his sudden action, you didn’t manage to relax into his body until he had already begun letting go.

“I’ll be fine.”

One moment Dean was looking into your grey eyes, and the next moment you were gone. Dean felt his stomach tighten and he went back to the fire to nervously wait for your return.

 

================================================================================================================================================================================

 

“Dean!” Sam shouted as you brought him back to the bunker. The younger brother came running over, his facial expression caught between anger and relief, “Where have you been?”

“We took a vacation.” Dean shrugged.

“Not much a holiday if you were only gone for two days…” Said a sharp Scottish voice. You quickly turned your head to find Rowena sitting, chained to the library table. Glaring at her, she winked at you and you raised an eyebrow at her with disapproval.

“What’s she doing here?” You asked Sam, stealing the words right out of Dean’s mouth.

“She’s here so that when we got the book back, she could help us.”

“And you’re still convinced she’s helping you?” Dean spat.

“She’s helping you, Dean!” Sam shouted.

“Really?” Dean said, walking toward his little brother, “I don’t think she is. She tried to kill me! What would make her suddenly want to help me?”

“Negotiation.” The witch stated, “The death of my son, for the removal of the mark.”

“Crowley?” Dean said, “You want Crowley dead? I don’t buy it.”

“Whether you buy it or not doesn’t concern me. Now, hand over the book.”

“No can do.” You mumbled, not meaning for everyone to hear.

“I beg your pardon?” Rowena asked, rattling her chains as she moved.

“You’re not getting the book.” You said slowly, this time with more confidence as you stepped toward the witch. She leaned away from you, as you got closer.

“I’m not afraid of an angel.” The redhead snorted, turning her head form you.

“She’s no ordinary angel.” Dean grumbled, “Look, the book’s gone. No one is getting to it. It can’t be destroyed, so it’s been hidden. That’s the best place for it to be, no questions asked.”

Sam looked utterly defeated. Although you agreed that the book was definitely not the answer, you too felt defeated now that the boys were back to square one. They had no way of removing the mark. You didn’t know what would happen if you merged souls with Dean, but you knew it would be risky. If the mark transferred to you, you would become an even more powerful force, but with pure evil intention. But maybe the mark wouldn’t transfer. Still, the risk was too high. You knew that Dean wouldn’t want you to take it. Watching the brothers now, you could feel the tension in the room.

Sam wasn’t happy, but ultimately he knew that the book was an extreme risk. What Dean said about it probably having massive consequences was true, but he was willing to risk that for his brother. Sam looked to you now, you were staring into space with grey eyes. He wondered how you could help. He didn’t know what you were capable of. He wanted to know.

Dean was now sat across from his brother. Back to square one. All he wanted to do was hunt now. He needed to clear his mind with something that he was used to. He knew it would take a while for Sam to forgive him for stealing the book. But he knew that Sam understood why he did it.

“Sammy, I’m sorry,” Dean sighed, “but that book was bad news. Trust me, it’s better that we don’t have it. It’s better that it’s far away from me.”

“I get it.” Sam said. And that was all he said before he got up and left, leaving you, Dean and Rowena sitting in the library. Dean looked at the witch suspiciously before asking you a question.

“Y/N, can you get her out of here, please? We have no use for her anymore.”

“What?” Rowena shrieked as you began to walk to her, “But what about my deal?”

Dean raised his arm and showed her the mark of Cain still scarred into his skin, “Deals off, honey.”

With that, you held onto her arm and took her away. You appeared in a field. The sky was grey with dark clouds. It was raining and cold. Rowena started squealing as she tried to cover her head with the hood of her cloak.

“Where have you taken me? Where are we?!” She shouted.

“You don’t recognise it? You’re home.” You said, before vanishing.

 

================================================================================================================================================================================

 

            When you got back to the bunker, the library was empty. You took the moment of solitude to sit down at the table and rest. A trip all the way to Scotland and back had made you a little tired. As you sat, you could hear the muffled voices of Sam and Dean. They were talking, or maybe arguing. It would take a while for Sam to forgive Dean, but you knew he would eventually. The thought of their brotherly bond reminded you of Castiel.

            _Castiel._ You called in your mind, _Please, Castiel. I’m sorry._

            You waited to hear his voice. Just when you thought about giving up on him, you heard his voice call your name. As soon as you heard him, you went to him. He was in a motel, you figured, that was two states over. He was lying on the bed, his face bloodied.

            “Castiel!” You shouted as you ran to him. You sat next to him and placed both your hands on either side of his face.

            “It’s nice to see you again, Y/N.” He said with a smile.

            “What happened?!” You asked as you felt the energy within you starting to heal his fractured jaw. You knew he would have self-healed in no time but it hurt you to see him this way. A couple seconds later, his face looked as beautiful as it always had and you took your hands from him. As you did, one of Castiel’s hands came up to hold onto yours.

            “Charlie and I ran into some trouble.”

            “Charlie! Where’s Charlie?” You immediately got up, ready to go and get her.

            “She went to get some medical supplies from the market down the road.”

            Now in the market, you only had to search for her for a few seconds. When she saw you, she ducked away but you reached out an arm, “Charlie, I’m not going to hurt you. I’d never hurt you, I promise. Come, you don’t need those.” You gestured to the bandages that she had in her arms. Nodding, she just dropped them and you took her back to Castiel.

            Back in the motel room, you realised that Charlie had more wounds than the broken nose. There was a gash in her side that was oozing warm blood. You let her lie on the second bed before you healed her.

            “Castiel, why was Charlie getting supplies when her injury was worse than yours?” You asked, checking to make sure Charlie was fully healed

            “He-… he had a broken leg when I left him.” The redhead explained

“A broken leg? How did that happen? What happened?”

“Well, we were driving-… I was driving and this kid comes out of nowhere and rams into us from behind. He just kept hitting us, so I sped up. But he just kept on following! Then he manages to ram us again, so bad that we swerved off the road. The car flipped, but we somehow managed to survive. The kid didn’t though, his car went further than ours.”

“Did you see what he looked like?” You questioned, hoping that it wasn’t the nerve of that Styne kid.

“He was young, eerrr… brown hair… glasses?” Charlie explained. It was the Styne.

 

“In that case, don’t feel bad about him not making it. He was the remaining Styne. Who knows how he found you, though.”

You stood in front of the two beds that Castiel and Charlie were now sitting on. When asked, you explained what had happened over the passed few days.

“And you’re sure it’s safe?” Castiel asked referring to the book.

“Definitely.” You stated, remembering how difficult it was getting to the bottom of the trench. How you felt as though you had died, but kept on coming back due to your Guardian abilities. If Dean knew how much pain you went through to get down there, he would have never let you do it. He didn’t need to know.

“What are we meant to do now?” Charlie asked, looking as defeated as Sam did.

“That’s where you guys come in. I was hoping you would be able to work together to try and dig up anything on my kind. I’m scared that if I merge souls with Dean, the mark will transfer to me, a stronger body. If that happens I’ll be an unstoppable force of evil. I’ll destroy all of mankind, and we can’t let that happen. But there’s a possibility that that won’t happen and I’ll be able to help Dean even more. I just don’t know. You guys need to help me.”

“Of course.” Castiel said, approaching you as he heard your voice falter a little.

 

================================================================================================================================================================================

 

            “Where did you go?” Dean asked with his eyes still closed as he lay on his bed, arms crossed. You jumped a little when he spoke because you were convinced he was asleep. What you didn’t know was that Dean couldn’t sleep not knowing where you were. He heard you arrive in the bunker, he listened to your foot steps and knew exactly when you reached his door.

“Oh, I went to check on Castiel and Charlie.” You said as you walked over to sit next to him on the bed. His eyes remained closed but he put his hand on your knee. Putting your hand on his, both of you took a deep breath as the sensation of each others’ skin soothed you both.

“Are they alright?”

“I suppose. They got into an accident with that remaining Styne kid, but it’s all been dealt with.”

You expected Dean to snap. You expected his eyes to flash open and he’d sit up and ask you what happened. But he didn’t. His eyes remained closed, his breaths remained steady and his hand remained in yours.

“Are you alright?”

Smiling, you said, “Yes, Dean. I’m good.”

Dean shifted a little and turned his head so that he was more comfortable. He was ready to sleep and you saw the tension in his face disappear. After a while of silence, he mumbled through is fatigue, “What do we do now?”

“We go back to what we do best.”

“The family bus-…” Sleep enveloped Dean and he didn’t manage to finish his sentence. Looking down at him, his hand still holding yours, he looked so peaceful. This face, so beautiful, could have easily been the face of a man who knew no pain, but that fact that it was truly no where near that made you sad.

“Yes. The family business.”

 


	5. What's yet to come.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Working a regular case is always a helpful way to bring back some normalcy.  
> Now there's finally some news about your kind, but it's harder to take than you thought it would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! I've got lots to come, I promise.

“The family bus-…” Sleep enveloped Dean and he didn’t manage to finish his sentence. Looking down at him, his hand still holding yours, he looked so peaceful. This face, so beautiful, could have easily been the face of a man who knew no pain, but that fact that it was truly no where near that made you sad.

“Yes. The family business.”

 

 

            It was a week later and the boys had found a case for you all to work on. Nothing too strenuous. Nothing out of the ordinary. There was a situation involving a series of suspected suicides and you all had the shared feeling that it was a vengeful spirit. As the boys drove to the town, you flew above them, above the clouds and out of sight. You constantly knew where they were by listening carefully. You could hear the radio quietly playing Dean’s classic rock. You could hear Sam’s knees hitting the side of the car with the turns in the long winding road. More importantly, you could hear Dean. Everything he was, you could hear, and you could feel. That’s what anchored you to them. You didn’t need to see them. You couldn’t see them with the clouds acting as a wall. All you could see was open sky. It was a pure blue that reminded you of Castiel. You hoped he was okay and that he was keeping Charlie safe. You decided that you’d soon go and check up on them. It had been a week after all.

The wind against your face was liberating. It had been a hard week for all of you. Dean and Sam had only just managed to act normally around each other a couple days ago and you were still worrying that Rowena would come back to gain her revenge over you. Dean had been finding it hard to sleep. Even when you stayed with him like he asked, you watched him toss and turn, and the frown that would never leave his brow. Occasionally you’d touch his hand or chest to try and calm him, and for a moment he’d relax. Yet it was as if there was someone else in the room fighting against your positive energy, and there was. It was the mark. Whilst he slept, you’d sit on the edge of the bed or at his desk, and stare at the mark. You could almost see it’s dark energy radiating from it like a black cloud of supernatural mist. You’d find yourself frowning just like Dean, and then the frustration would drive you so mad that you’d have to leave. It was only in the air that you managed to find the peace that you craved when Dean wasn’t conscious to give it to you. He could turn your heartbeat from dangerously fast to steadily slower just by looking into your eyes.

            But for now, you lived in the moment. You twisted and turned at you let the wind tug at your clothes. When flying forward your body was horizontal in the air and you held your arms open to steady yourself. It wasn’t so much that you were flying; it was more as though you let your body become weightless and the wind carried you like a feather. You took a deep breath and closed you eyes as you let the breeze push you with the Winchester brothers below you.

            Back in the car, the boys were just pulling up next to the police station. Suits on and FBI badges at the ready, Dean called you.

            “Y/N,” he said, knowing you’d hear him, “We’re here now.”

            As soon as you heard your name, you appeared in the back seat of the Impala. You felt yourself smiling, and you couldn’t help it because flying was just so freeing. Dean turned and chuckled softly when he saw your grin.

            “Have fun up there?” He asked, making sure his badge was in his pocket.

You nodded, “Yes, thank you. What should I do?”

            Dean looked you up and down. There was no way he’d be able to convince the local authority that you were a federal agent. He was going to have to do something about that sooner or later. For now, he trusted you to go and ask around with the locals. The latest victim was a regular at a bar called RJ’s and Dean figured that you’d be able to find out something from the people in there.

            “Why don’t you head over to RJ’s and see if you can find out anything about the latest victim. His name’s Thomas Chalmers.” Dean instructed you with what to do and how to act as all three of you stepped out of the car. You admired the brothers’ synchronisation as they both buttoned their suits. Smiling, you listened to Dean as he spoke but then adopted a more serious face when he began warning you.

            “Now, listen. I don’t know what kind of guys you came across in those four months that you were on your own, but just be careful. Don’t trust any of ‘em, and if one of them touch you-…”

            “I’ll put them down.” You said decisively as you put your hand on the Desert Eagle tucked into the back of your jeans.

Dean nodded at you and Sam told you to be safe before they headed into the police station. As the boys disappeared into the building, you headed down the road to RJ’s. It was a grimy old place, filled with guys who were way too drunk for two o’clock in the afternoon. Walking in, you smelt what could only be a mixture of foul food, urine and sick. You had to try your best not to gag. Your hands clenched together as you walked over to the bar. You were unsure about what would be an appropriate choice of drink at this time, but realised that you needed to gain the trust, or at least respect, of the people in here in order to get anything out of them. If Thomas Chalmers was a regular here, then the bartender was the person you’d want to talk to.

“I’ll take a bourbon.” You said, throwing the money on the counter lazily as you took a sit and acted exhausted. The bartender nodded, took the bash and poured you your drink. Holding the glass in your hand, you sighed dramatically and the bartender fed right into your hands.

“Something the matter, sweetie?” He asked. You shuddered at him calling you ‘sweetie’ and looked up to get a better read on him. He had long greasy, grey hair that he’d combed back and a wispy beard. He wore a black shirt that he’d unbuttoned too far down. There were sweat patches under his arms and stains all over the shirt. He smiled at you but his motive was clearly not heartfelt.

“Just dealing with life, that’s all.” You sighed as you drank.

“Tell me about it,” the bartender said as he leaned on the counter, getting a little too close for comfort, “I just lost a buddy of mine.”

“Oh yeah, I heard something about that. Thomas, right? He was a good guy. It was such a shame.”

“You knew him?”

“Not really, but I’d see him around. Do you know what happened?”

The bartender took a moment and leant back against the shelves of alcohol behind him. He rubbed his face as he tried not to get too emotional. For a moment, you felt sorry for him.

“He must have been going through a rough time for him to go like that.”

“Was he acting any different? Anything out of the ordinary?”

“Not really. Nothing unusual.”

The guy suddenly didn’t seem so horrid and his eyes went sad.

“I’m sorry for your loss. How’s his family holding up, do you know?”

“Ah, Bethan’s not gonna miss him. She already had other men lined up and I’m sure she didn’t wait for him to die to start messing around with them. I mean, why do you think he was constantly in here? Poor guy didn’t want to go home.”

You didn’t know what to say. As a Guardian, it was hard for you to separate yourself from these cases as you could feel the emotions of everyone you spoke to. Instead of speaking, you rose your glass to the bartender and said, “To Thomas.”

“To Thomas.” He repeated.

Not long after you finished your drink, you left to go and find the boys. They were standing by the car, talking. When you arrived next to them, they told you all they had found out. Not much to add that you all hadn’t already assumed. Nothing obvious tied the cases together, making it difficult to find the spirit’s motif.

“Did you manage to find out anything?” Sam asked as you all got into the car.

“I did. Thomas’s wife cheated on him. He was always in the bar because he never wanted to go home.” You leant forward in the centre of the backseats so that you could rest your arms on the back of the front seats. Sam and Dean were used to you wanting to be that close to them when you were talking to them. You continued talking, “I think that could possibly be our lead? Maybe the spirit empathises with the sad?”

You saw the brothers both frown a little as they thought about it.

“Yolanda Becks, victim number three, did have a history of depression.” Dean added.

“And Jonathan Vincent had just lost his job.” Sam recalled.

“I think it’s a reasonable connection.” Dean said. The car had already pulled out as they headed to a motel so that they could discuss everything.

Once in the motel room, the boys began tucking into some food they’d bought on the way. You didn’t enjoy using your powers to steal food for them anymore, so they had resorted back to buying food. Dean wiped his mouth with a tissue and scrumpled up the brown paper bag before he began getting out some files they'd taken from the police station. 

"Alright." He said, "Let's see if we can crack this."

"The spirit seems to find someone who's going through hard times and kills them." Sam began, "but why make it look like suicide? Why not just kill them? It seems like a pointless effort, doesn't it?" 

The three of them sat around the table as they thought about it. It made sense that the spirit might want to put people out of their misery, so to speak, but Sam was right. It didn't make sense that the spirit gave the illusion of a suicide.

"Sam," you spoke, "anything in the town's history on suicides? Assisted suicides?" 

"I'm checking right now, but nothing seems to be coming up." You could see Sam's eyes scanning the computer screen. Dean was still skimming through the documents he'd found. It seemed he'd found something when he stopped on one page.

"Y/N, take a look at this." 

Dean handed you the file, opened on a page with a photocopy of a newspaper article. There was a picture of a woman. Even in the grainy black and white photo, she was beautiful. The article covered the story of the murder of Maria Filmore, the lady in the photo. She was murdered in her own home. Found face-down in a pool, stained red by her own blood, Maria met a gruesome end. The article also gave an insight to her final months. She had been suffering from severe post-natal depression. Her death left behind a husband and a 4 month old child.

You looked up at Dean whose face seemed saddened by the story. Nodding understandingly, you said, "We need to talk to her family." 

 

The next day, the three of you headed to the Filmore house. You had to sit in the car as the boys went in as federal agents. You listened.

"Good morning, Mr Filmore. I'm Agent Brown and this is my partner Agent Michaels. Could we please ask you a few questions?" Dean spoke with such authority. 

"What about?" You heard a rather timid male voice ask.

"It's about your wife, sir." Sam said.

 

Later on, when the boys rejoined you in the car, they seemed unsure with what they'd been told. After they had stepped into the house, you couldn't concentrate hard enough to be able to hear them clearly, so you had left them to it. Turns out that the husband had a different story to what was in the newspapers.

"He said she'd left him a note," Dean explained, "telling him that she was sorry."

"It was a suicide note." Sam continued, "She wanted to kill herself."

"So what stopped her?" You asked.

"That's the weird part. The murderer stopped her. Maria wanted to kill herself by drowning. It's said to be a peaceful way of dying. Her husband, Robert, found a rope tied to some bricks by the edge of the pool but hid them when the cops came to keep the media off his wife.” 

"So maybe her spirit feels as though people who are sad should be in control of their own deaths. She wants them to end their own lives so they can find peace because she didn't get to do that herself." You suggested.

"Seems about right." Sam concluded. 

Although you had figured out the spirit's motif, you still had to find a way of stopping her. As it turns out, it was a simple case of burning her remains. The three of you stayed in the town for a little while longer. After a week, with no suicides or anything else out of the ordinary, Dean decided you should all head back to the bunker. 

  

"You want to go where?" Dean asked, slamming his bag down onto the bed in protest. 

"Dean, please. I just want to find Castiel. I need to know he's safe." You tried to calm him with a soft voice. Dean didn't know that you had Castiel and Charlie still searching for a cure for him. The two of them had been away for over a month now, trying to read up on your kind, and you had heard nothing from them. It was beginning to worry you. You had to find them. 

"Y/N, he's safe. If he wasn't, he would have called." Dean pulled the bag up onto his shoulder and headed for the door. Sam was outside, loading the car. Dean spoke as he walked, "And you're safest with me. You said so yourself. You're stronger with me. Who knows what's out there looking for me or even you?! We need to stay together."

"Dean," you breathed as you walked toward him and put a hand on his arm, "even when you can't see me, I'm still with you. Please understand. I'll be safe. I really need to find Castiel."

Dean dropped the bag on the floor and turned to face you. His arms came up to hold onto your own. You saw his face fall into sadness at the thought of you leaving. Instinctively, you hugged him. Dean's face came down to your shoulder as he buried himself in your hair and your smell. Without saying a word, you left. Clearing his throat, Dean picked up his bag and joined his brother in the car.

Sam looked back at the now closed motel door, "Where's Y/N?"

"She's gone looking for Castiel.... Come on. Let's go." 

 

You hovered high up in the air as you watched the boys pull of out the motel and then head home. With your eyes closed, you called to Castiel. 

_Where are you, Castiel? Please. I need to see you. I need to know you are safe._

_I am safe, Y/N. We are safe._

 

Still floating in the air, you smiled at his voice. You let the sound pull you towards its origin and in a second's time, you were in front of him. The warmth in his blue eyes, for a moment, made you forget how difficult life of Earth had turned out to be. Castiel smiled gently and you pulled him towards your body. His embrace was so calming, so pure. He smelt like home, or at least like where you had fallen from. You didn't know if you could call that place home, but he smelt like it and it comforted you. Ultimately, wherever Dean was, to you, was home. When you let go of Castiel, he saw your grey-blue eyes searching the room. 

"Charlie, we have a guest." Castiel called out, still smiling a little.

The red-headed girl came through a doorway and into the room, with a dusty book in hand. Her eyes lit up when she saw you.

"Y/N! Where have you been? Is everything alright?" She shouted as she hugged you.

"Oh, everything is fine. We just closed a case just a few hundred miles west of here. I only came to make sure you are okay. And Castiel. How are you both?"

"We're good. I think we're best friends now." Charlie said jokingly, "We found this old house and now we use it as our base of operations."

The room you were in was clearly, at some point, a living room of some sort. There was a fire place and a dusty old couch. The late evening sunlight poured through the yellow curtains that half hung on the window. Dust particles were illuminated by the strong beam of light in a way that reminded you of your own effortless flight. Papers and books were scattered all over the place, as well as left over takeaway boxes from nights and nights of researching. 

"Wow, you've really made yourself at home." You commented, cheerfully.

Charlie looked around and smiled at Castiel, "Yeah, I suppose you could call it home." 

Castiel was smiling at Charlie. He had grown fond of her the past month. She didn't treat him the way the boys did. She treated him like a friend. Sometimes, he swore, she'd almost forget that he was an angel of the Lord. He liked it. 

"Y/N," Castiel said, remembering the bigger picture, "how's Dean?"

You sighed and took a moment to try channelling Dean's energy. He didn't like that you were gone, but he was coping... Like he always was. 

"He's coping. Everyday, I feel us both growing stronger... But I don't think it is necessarily a good thing. The strength he feels from me is in constant conflict with the power of the mark. I can feel it too." 

There was a pause in the room as the three of them thought about it all. Charlie gasped when she remembered something. 

"Y/N, have you given your soul to Dean yet?"

"Well, it's not giving my soul to him, it would merge with his own, but I know what you mean. And no, I haven't. Not yet. He doesn't want to."

"Why?" Castiel asked.

"He hasn't really spoken about it that much. But I think he's worried about what happens to me when he dies. He doesn't want me to die as well. Although I'd rather die than live without him." 

Dean didn't have to tell you. You knew exactly why he never spoke to you about it. It was clear that he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if you were to die along side him. Eventually, you knew that the time would come that your souls would merge, but you didn't have the heart to force Dean into it.

"It's alright, Y/N." Castiel spoke with a soft tone. 

"I read something," Charlie began, "but it didn't mention anything about guardians. The supernatural being they were referring to was one I had never come across before. It seemed to be some sort of fae, maybe? A name I can’t pronounce. They would, like you, merge souls with humans, or sometimes even demons. Once merged, the fate of the human would lie solely in the hands of the fae. I don't know if that is similar to what happens to you?" 

You shrugged unsure, and Charlie continued.

"Okay, maybe it’s not the same thing exactly. However, it did say that previous curses performed on the human might be removed... But at a price."

Charlie looked to Castiel, her face dropping into concern. The angel urged her to continue but she only looked down at her hands and the book in them. 

"Charlie," you said calmly, "don't worry. What ever it is, it can't be worse than what Dean is already going through."

Clearing her throat, Charlie continued, "Well we don't know this for certain. I mean, the book doesn't even mention the name Guardian, but... It mentions these creatures that I've never come across before. They're kind of like a type of fae. They too merge souls with a human, but instead a human of their own choosing. To them it was seen as a kind of marriage. A fae falls in love with a human and so they intertwine their souls as an act of love. Once they merge, the human almost becomes a fae as well. The human would adopt powers. Powers not nearly the strength of the fae's but still. Then, if the human had a curse previously set on them, these would vanish, but it would lead to the fae falling to a less divine state. Maybe they’d lose some of their power and strength? So I think that if you and Dean were to merge, maybe he'd somehow get powers like you, and the mark may go, but you’d lose your own strength..."

"And there the issue lies, Y/N," Castiel interjected, "and this act would resonate through the whole supernatural world. Every demon, every spirit, every creature will hear of Dean Winchester and his Guardian. Nothing will stop them from coming. Every evil being on this earth, they will not rest until Dean is dead. It's been years since something like this has happened. They'll want to bring an end to it out of their own self-righteousness. A power that strong? It won't last long if they have any say in the matter. They'll try and take you for themselves, not knowing the true nature of your kind. As soon as you and Dean connect, every supernatural being will know, and most of them will want to kill you."

It was a lot to take in. Even with the waves of information that flooded into your mind every so often, this was more than you had expected. Charlie didn't think that she was talking about Guardians, but it all seemed too familiar, and Castiel seemed pretty convinced. Something in the back of your mind clicked and you knew they were talking about your kind. Castiel was worried you’d die; worried that you’d be killed. The thought of death had never bothered you before because you knew that your death would be as an act of protection, but now you were scared. Suddenly, you craved Dean’s comfort. But you knew you had to stay just a little while longer. The habit you had of coming and going as you pleased was one that had to stop.

Looking at Castiel now, you saw his mind tossing and turning as he tried to think a way through this. Charlie was equally as ponderous. No one said a word. The mark of Cain meant that saving Dean would ultimately mean saving human kind as well. The mark was too powerful and if you never merged, and it were to consume him, he'd wipe out the human population. Just like Cain intended to. You needed to save them; the humans. You needed to save Dean.

"Well," you said decisively as walked toward the two of them, "if that's how they want to play? Then we'll have just have to win. Let them come. Dean and I will be stronger than ever. With two Winchesters, a Guardian, an angel and a Bradury, who really stands a chance?"

Winking at the red-head, you hoped the confidence in your voice reassured them both. It wasn't clear whether your new found confidence was genuine or not, but for the moment, it felt right. 

"Y/N," Castiel said, "are you sure? You could die." 

"The only way a Guardian can die is if they are saving their human from death. A life for a life. If I die, then he lives, and therefore it will have been worth it."

The pair of them looked at you. You could feel their sadness and it hurt you more than they could know.

"Listen," you said, "I know it all seems a bit far fetched, but he's my human. Dean, alone, is the reason for my existence. I'd do anything to keep him safe. Please understand."

The angel's face of concern turned into a confident frown. He walked forward and put his arm on yours, "We understand. What ever you choose, we're behind you." 

With one final glance at the two who had given you the key to saving Dean, you said, "Thank you" and left. 


	6. More than what we are.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all boils down to this. This is why you were sent down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I felt as though I needed to pick up the pace. Lots of shit going down. Hope you like it :) let me know!

 

 

With one final glance at the two who had given you the key to saving Dean, you said, "Thank you" and left. 

 

The boys weren't back at the bunker yet. It was empty and silent. Strangely, you felt tired; tired enough to actually sleep. You began walking to Dean's bedroom but you felt your eyes closing. Walking with haste, you made it to Dean's bed in time. Too tired to change or get under the covers, you fell asleep on your stomach, with your head turned to the side, facing the bed side table.

Meanwhile, outside, Sam and Dean pulled into the garage of the bunker. As Sam emptied the trunk of the case's necessities, Dean wondered if you were back. He could have sworn he could feel your presence, but shrugged it off as he still wasn't sure what the capabilities of your bond with him were. He helped his brother unload the car. They spoke about the case and how well you were coming along. 

"She's turning out to be a damn good hunter." Sam remarked, "Not only can she kick ass, but she sure as hell is smart, huh?"

"Yeah," Dean chuckled, "Y/N is turning out to be a great hunter." 

They settled down at a table in the library. Dean brought out beers for them both. Thinking that you'd be back later, the two of them sat together and enjoyed each other's company. However when an hour passed, Dean began to get concerned.

"How long does it take to check up on one angel?" He complained, putting his bottle down on the table a little too aggressively. 

"Maybe she's already back? Let's go look for her, yeah?" Sam suggested.

The brothers got up and began searching for you. Sam went to the gym, where you would often spend time working out your tension. Dean headed to his room. The feeling in his gut that told him you were in the bunker when they arrived was now telling him that you were in his room. When he turned the corner into his room and saw you, his heart rate immediately calmed down. He had never seen you sleep before, and he didn't want to disturb you. He texted Sam, 

"Found her. She's fine. I'll see you in the morning." To: Sam - Today at 23:42

You had been sleeping for just over an hour and hadn't moved a muscle. Dean found himself in your usual position as he sat on the bed next to you as you slept. Even as you slept, you became aware of his presence and woke up slowly.

"Dean?" You mumbled, half conscious.

"Damn it," he whispered, "I didn't mean to wake you, I'm sorry." 

"You didn't. It's fine." 

Thinking that Dean would want his bed back, you began getting up. 

"Hey, hey," he hushed, "don't get up."

"It's your bed, I'll move." You were now sitting up with your legs out in front of you as Dean's body denied you to swing them around and off the bed. He put his hand on yours and in turn you opened your hand to hold his. You saw his eyes watching your hands and then his brow furrowed as it usually did. 

"Y/N," he began, "why were you sleeping? I've never seen you sleep before." 

It had confused you as well. You thought maybe it was because you had learned something new about your kind and it had been a shock to your system. It could have been the knowledge of the upcoming battle that exhausted your mind. You weren't sure. But even in that hour's rest, you felt a lot better. It was as if you could feel that the worst was yet to come, but now you were ready. Looking at Dean gave you that confidence.

"Dean, I need to tell you something." You decided that it would be best not to keep anything from him. After having learnt the Winchester histories, you knew that secrets were never wise. They always led to pain and betrayal. If Dean were to ever trust you enough to let your souls merge, you'd have to start and end in truth. 

As you told him all that Charlie had found out, he sat in front of you, looking you in the eyes. He wore his signature frown and held your hand tightly in his own. With your free hand you'd make gestures to try and relief the tension by creating normalcy to the bizarrely still room. Often, you found yourself nervously picking at a rip in your jeans from an old hunt. As you spoke, Dean's emerald eyes never left yours. His lips were pursed as he took in the information. When you had finished speaking, he turned to look into nowhere. His line of gaze ended at the corner of the bedside table but you could tell his mind was elsewhere. You thought he might be mad and that he'd refuse to ever merge souls with you because it was too risky. Bracing yourself for his anger, you slumped down a little from your previously perfect posture. 

There was suddenly a tingling sensation on the back of your hand and you noticed Dean's thumb was gently rubbing your skin. You looked up at him and his eyes closed momentarily before he returned his gaze to your face. 

"Is this what you really want to do?" Dean asked. 

"I don't see any other way." You replied honestly. In truth, you didn't want to have to do this, but it was the only way that you'd be able to help him. 

"Okay then." He said with a slight hesitation. 

"Look, I know you don't want to. So we won't." You said, waiting for his reaction. When his eyes widened and his frown increased, you continued talking, "We won't merge souls until we're both ready. I don't think either of us is strong enough yet to endure the mark as well as our combined strengths and my power. When we connect, not only will we both become stronger, but the mark will too, as it feeds off of our energy. We need to learn how to control the power it gives us. If we merge souls and we’re too weak to endure, it will be the death of not only us, but probably a whole world of innocents." 

Dean stared at you. His mind couldn't land on one emotion. He battled with confusion, relief, fear, anger. But as he looked at you, your eyes so clear and your touch so comforting, he felt as though he may be able to conquer those feelings. He nodded at you and gestured for you to move over. As you shuffled over to the other side of the bed, he lay next to you. Lying on his back, he still had your hand in his own. When you saw his eyes close, you closed your own as well. You didn't sleep that night, but you rested. Knowing exactly how you were going to train yourself and Dean, you prepared yourself for the days ahead. 

 

"Come on, Dean!" You screamed as you ran through the alley way, Dean on your feet, rain splattering against your face. The demon you were chasing was just a few metres ahead of you, his feet splashing through the thin layer of rain water on the floor. You could easily catch up to him, but you wanted Dean to be the one to get him. As you ran, you turned to see Dean behind you. His face was full of concentration and he nodded at you through his panting. With the ready signal, you reached an arm out to him. From the centre of your body you felt an energy emerge and shoot through your arm in a powerful pulse. An invisible surge of energy came bursting out of your hand and hit Dean in the chest. That hit of power gave Dean the boost he needed and he quickly overtook you with a small grin forming on his mouth. The spray of rain was hitting you in the face as you ran, but you could still see Dean the whole time, even in the dark of night. You saw his silhouette in the rain as he caught up with the demon. Dean threw his legs out in front of him and brought the demon down to the floor. They were a little further ahead of you, so Dean waited for you to catch up whilst he kept his foot on the demon's chest. 

"Wh-what are you two?" The demon cried as the both of you towered over him. 

"That's on a need to know basis," Dean smirked, "and buddy? You don't need to know." 

With that, Dean rose his leg up for just a moment before bringing it down forcefully on the demon's face. You heard the crack of his nose breaking even through the constant hissing of the rain. Bending down, you put a hand to the unconscious demon face. With a flash of white light, you killed the evil within the vessel. The body tensed in the instant that the light came from you, but immediately went limp the moment the demon died. The human vessel lay there unconscious on the floor. The moment you saw his breathing increase, you brought your hand to his face again and wiped his memory of anything supernatural. That was all you ever did if the body was still healthy enough to keep the human soul alive. You’d erase any memory of the evil, and then you’d leave. The human was beginning to moan, signaling that it was time to go. As you stood up, you took Dean's hand and brought you both back to the bunker, leaving the body behind. Sam was waiting for you both in the library. 

"Where have you been?" Sam asked when he saw how drenched you both were. He had a towel next to him and threw it to you. You saw he was wearing sports attire but he lacked any sign of fatigue, so he must have been on his way to the gym. The towel was clean and smelt of detergent, and its warmth was a welcome sensation against your cold cheek.

"East Coast." You said, taking off a few layers of soaking clothes and squeezing your wet hair with the towel.

"Any luck finding cases, Sammy?" Dean said, beer already in hand. 

"Yes, actually," he replied, rather excited, "looks like there's a vamp nest in Elizabeth, Indiana." 

"Perfect." Dean said, slamming his hand down on the table, "We'll rest up and head out in the morning." 

You and Dean then made your way to his room to dry off and rest. It had been a week since your talk about merging souls and since then you had initiated, what you liked to call, 'demon runs'. It was a demon run that you had just come back from. Whilst waiting for a case, you took Dean to a place where you had been sensing a lot of demon activity. Then, you would test your limits and his as you chased the demons down and killed them. Of course, however, where possible you would assess the vessels and see how long you thought the demons had been possessing them. If you thought that the vessel was able to be saved, you'd try your best to. Yet it was rare that a vessel had few enough injuries to survive without a demon possessing it. It was something that Dean had helped you come to terms with. 

Through these runs, you had learnt how to effectively give Dean the power he needed, when he needed. You had learnt that if you used your powers too aggressively, like you did in the Styne mansion, you'd exhaust yourself too quickly. Most of your powers, you had learnt to use defensively. Your attack was your gun. When necessary, you gave Dean your power's energy and he would finish the job. This was the best way to optimize both of your strengths. 

However, when it came to controlling the mark, it was still a challenge. It became clear very quickly that if you spent too long fighting one demon, Dean's frustration made him vulnerable to the mark's effect. His frustration then became anger and his anger would in turn become something evil. When you saw this happening, it took every inch of your will to control him. You'd take it upon yourself to put the demon out as quickly as possible and then you'd take Dean back to the bunker so he could wind down. Fortunately, Dean had learnt why you would take things into your own hands when you did. He always knew that he had to calm down, and he always tried. 

Now, the two of you were dry and in bed. Every time you lay next to him in bed, you remembered what he had told you the morning after you first slept next to him. 

"I don't think I've ever slept better. Do you think... Would it be alright if you stayed? With me, I mean... So I can sleep." 

You had never seen him so vulnerable. Dean always exuded such strength but when he asked that of you, there's was something you hadn't seen before. In fact, he had never asked something of you before. It was new. It was nice to feel him need you in a way more obvious than the constant connection you felt with him usually.

He was asleep now, his back turned to you. Through the darkness of the room, you watched his body rise and fall slowly as he breathed deep. Touching his back, you felt the soft material of the grey t-shirt he was wearing. Dean began fidgeting a little, and you heard him grunt a little. Calmly, you put your hand flat on his back and gently pulsed some relaxing energy through your body and into his. Almost immediately, his body stilled. Just when you were ready to close your eyes and shut down in a way that was different to human sleep, Dean turned. Facing you now, his eyes remained closed but his forehead found your forehead. 

"You okay, Y/N?" He mumbled, making you smile. 

You raised a hand to his cheek and replied, "Of course. You're alright, too, aren't you?"

His response was a happy grumble. The feeling of his stubble under your hand was a familiar one but it always made you relax. You felt his arm come around your waist and he pulled you into him so that your head nestled under his chin and into his chest. As he fell back into sleep, you listened to his heartbeat. 

 

"Ready to go, Sam?" You called out as you grabbed your bag off the table. It was seven in the morning when Dean had decided to get up and going. He told you to pack weapons and clothes for the both of you, so you did. You waited for Sam while Dean busied himself around the bunker. Now, Sam came jogging out of the hallway with his own bag in hand. He was smiling at you and nodded, letting you know that he was good to go. Together you walked out to the impala, where Dean was already loading up. 

"Has Dean said anything about... Well, you know?" Sam whispered as you walked.

After having told Sam about what was going to eventually have to happen, he had made sure he was there to support you both. Yet, being a Winchester, he felt the need to whisper about it behind Dean's back. You didn't mind too much, though. 

"No," you sighed, "he hasn't said a word. But I don't think we're ready yet, anyway."

"From what I've seen, you guys seem pretty strong, no?" Sam inquired. He had seen how effective you two could be together and separate, but he couldn't feel the overwhelming energy from the mark. 

"Yes," you laughed a little, "but it's not enough. The mark is still too powerful."

"The mark isn't going to get any less powerful, Y/N." Sam said with concern.

"I know," you paused a moment, "don't worry, Sam. It will happen when it needs to happen. That I am sure of." 

Dean was doing a weapon stock when you arrived at the garage. The familiarity of the action calmed him, you could see. It took him a moment to realise that you and Sam had arrived. 

"Ah," Dean said, "about time! Come on, get in the car."

Once in the car, Dean shifted in his seat and turned to face both you and Sam. 

"Look," he stated, "Indiana is a two day drive away. Y/N, do you think you could take us there any faster?"

It was possible for you to take all three of you and the car to Indiana in a blink of an eye, but you knew it would tire you out an incredible amount. You liked the idea of a two day drive, but you also understood that the boys may not want to make the long journey. It was up to you to make the decision.

"Yes, alright." You agreed, "I'll take us."

Reaching out your hands, the boys both held one hand each. Holding hands with the boys meant that you could feel their pulses and that's how you kept focused on them. Closing your eyes tight for concentration, you focused on every inch of the car. If you didn't concentrate, the car may fall apart during the short journey. It was the coldness of the inanimate car that was difficult to carry. You took in a deep breath and felt your hands get squeezed a little harder by the brothers. Then, for a moment there was nothing, and then there was that familiar jolt feeling in your gut. You opened your eyes slowly to see if it had worked. 

No longer in the garage, you found yourselves on the side of the road, next to a "Welcome to Indiana" sign. 

"That's my girl." Dean whispered under his breath as he let go of your hand with s final squeeze and moved the car into motion. You didn't relax until the car had been driving smoothly for twenty minutes, worried that you might have damaged Dean's baby. Luckily, she seemed fine and the brothers relaxed back into their seats and so did you. 

The journey to Elizabeth from the state borderline was only a short one in comparison to some of the journeys you had done before with the boys. Car rides were always quite relaxing but you longed to be in the sky. You saw it was relatively cloudy, you knew you wouldn't be seen. Having asked politely if it was alright to stretch your metaphorical wings (it was still unclear to you whether you had such things), with a smile, you appeared in the sky and bounded through the air. 

Once flying, the journey was disappointingly short. It wasn't long before you heard Dean's voice call you and ended up grounded in the car once more. Dean smiled at you again when he turned to see a grinning face. 

"Now," Sam started, "we know where the nest is. We know how to handle vamps. What we don't know for sure, is who is a vamp and who isn't. We need to be careful. There may be innocent people being kept captive in there."

The three of you looked at each other knowingly. Having found a motel, you spent the day resting and planning the attack. The vampires had chosen an abandoned warehouse ( _of course_ , you thought) and so, with the help of some local workers, Sam had managed to get his hands on the blueprints. You all studied the map, ensuring you learnt all possible ins and outs. 

It was one main floor that had three ways in and out. The massive main door for trucks would have to be somehow closed off. Three doors meant there was one for each of you to cover. There was also a downstairs basement, which seemed to be the most likely place the captives would be kept. The plan was to clear the ground level, then head down together. Sam estimated there were going to be roughly fifteen to twenty vampires in total. It was the biggest nest you had ever come across. You managed to hide your nerves from the brothers, but still looked at Dean in the hopes that he couldn't feel how you felt. What you didn't realise was that he could feel it. He had never been nervous to clear a nest before so when he felt his heart rate quicken, he knew it must have been you. Looking at you now, he nodded at you, calming you just a little. 

It was mid afternoon when Dean decided it was time to head out. He thought that the time of day would mean that the vampires wouldn't be as strong. For the sake of everyone, you hoped he was as right. 

The warehouse looked exactly like you had imagined. It was dark, there were random, rather unnecessary chains hanging from here and there, and piled on the floor. You saw boxes and boxes of who knows what. The floor was damp, leaving an unpleasant scent in the air. All of this, and you hadn't even gotten inside yet. The three of you got out of the car and the first plan of action was to barricade the massive front door where trucks would load and unload. If that opened during the raid, the whole plan would fail. Dean trusted that your telekinesis was now strong enough to lift the ridiculous length of iron chain and wrap it around the handles of the door. In theory the boys could have lifted it themselves, but the struggle from the weight would cause too much noise. It was up to you. Telekinesis was never something you enjoyed. It was too tiring for such pointless work. With your hands outstretched in front of you, you began to lift the chain. It clinked a little as it was lifted off the floor but remained silent as it travelled through the air and towards the doors. As carefully as you could, you wrapped the chains around the handles that kept the doors shut. Dean had found a large padlock and clamped them secure before throwing the key down a drain. 

"That's great, Y/N." Dean said, rubbing your back for support whilst also managing to give a little energy back to you from his own body, "Are we ready?" 

The three of you stood in front of the massive warehouse, machetes at the ready. You stared at the building, feeling quite unprepared despite knowing the floor plan of the whole place. As the boys began walking towards the building, you followed. When you all came to the first door, Sam stayed there and took his position. He nodded at you and Dean, telling you to continue. You followed Dean as he headed to the next door. Once there, he stayed. Only a moment's hesitation hit you and you paused to look back at Dean who was glaring down the door in front of him. You continued on to find the next door. When you were ready, you spoke into the minds of the brothers as calmly as you could, " _Alright. Let's go._ " 

Although you wanted to constantly listen to the heartbeats of the brothers you needed to keep safe. You needed to concentrate on yourself more. There were possible twenty vampires in here and if you weren't careful, you could exhaust yourself too fast. You wouldn't be any good to anyone if you used too much power and could barely walk. You put the brothers' heartbeats at the back of your mind, but made sure they were still there. The door gave with a little push. You expected it to be locked, but it wasn't. It worried you a little. What you didn’t realize is you’re your nerves had kicked in and you managed to break the door in with only, what felt like, a gentle nudge. Within the warehouse you could hear Sam and Dean picking at the locks of their own doors.

It was dark inside, a lot darker than you expected. You could feel your skin glowing as it usually did in the dark, so you worked on trying to stay quieter and to dull the glow a little. The place was a maze of shipping containers and other huge boxes. It was impossible to gauge who was in the room, and how many there were. For a moment you closed your eyes to listen for the vampires. You could hear nine or ten separate heartbeats that weren't Sam or Dean's. Three of them were close to you, whispering about something under their breaths. They didn't know you were there yet. You listened harder and could hear one making their way toward you. The vampire had heard the door open. Instinctively, you hid behind a box that was placed to the side of the makeshift hallway created by the shipping containers. You listened carefully, gripping your weapon with white knuckles, and didn't make a sound. Staring at the floor, you waited to see a foot or a leg before you moved. The footsteps were getting louder and louder, closer and closer. Then there was the leg. As soon as you saw it, you rose from your crouching position and swung your arm out long and fast. You felt the contact with skin and then the short denial of quick movement as the blade cut through neck. As soon as you made a clean swing, you caught the body and stuck your foot out so the head knocked your boot before the floor to lessen the noise of the head dropping. You could smell the blood on you, and knew that the vampires could now smell it too now. Their movements became faster, and you heard the acceleration of heartbeats.

In the distance, Sam's grunts echoed through the room as he decapitated another vampire. Now they were mad. Knowing they were under attack, they headed for the four exits. With the main exit blocked, they made for the exits that you three were covering. Two down, possibly six or seven to go. 

You stood waiting for them by your exit. With your feet spread in a steady position, and your machete in hand, you waited. There was the thud of another body hitting the ground, followed by the angry muttering sounds of Dean as he struggled with another. Two turned the corner to see you waiting. They began running towards you with aggression smeared across their faces. Ready for them, you ran head on. There was a flash of panic in their eyes as you sprinted for them, but they didn't back down. Just as you were about make contact with one of them, you jumped. With the help of your flight you sailed straight over them and twisted in the air so that you faced their backs when you landed. Confused, the vampires stopped in their tracks and were about to turn. However, your blade sliced through them before they had the chance to see your face. A small grunt left your mouth as you felt the machete cut through two necks.  Blood splattered across your face, arms and chest.

Only three left. You could hear them clearly. None of them were near you, so you ran to help the boys. When you found Dean, he was pinned against a wall by a vampire. He had his machete up against the vampire's neck. You could see the blade cutting into Dean's hand as he tried to force it forward. The vampire was lashing out at him. You could only see a blur of blood and teeth. Instead of running you flew straight towards them, machete out in front of you. You didn't stop until you felt the blade go straight through the centre of the vamp's body. He looked shocked and stared down at the blade that now protruding out of his torso. He fell back a little but you stopped him from collapsing. Dean took the opportunity to stand up properly again and swing out with his blade. The head came rolling off. Blood was now trickling down your face because you had been so close to the blow. It didn't matter if it got into your mouth, the blood didn't affect you. 

"Come on!" You shouted, "Sam's got the last two on him!" 

The two of you ran to help Sam. As you ran, you saw the back of a vampire as she too ran towards Sam. She didn't realise that you were coming so as Dean caught up with her, he cut her down with a heavy grunt. Neither of you slowed down as she fell to the floor. Sam was wrestling with a vampire when you found him. His weapon had slid from his grasp and he was caught under the vampire, down on the floor. As you ran toward Sam, you saw his hands were around the vampire's neck and he was struggling to keep him off.

"Get away from my brother, you jack-ass!" Dean yelled as he closed in on the duel. 

Dean's leg smashed into the vampire's face, knocking him off of Sam's body. The younger brother starting coughing and panting as Dean dealt with the vampire who was trying to crawl away. You ran to Sam's aid and checked his body for bites marks as you helped him sit up. He was fine. However he had an open gash on the back of his head from where the vampire must have pushed him down. You quickly healed him as you knelt beside him, and got him on his feet. When you looked over to Dean, he was already walking back. The dead vampire was in the shadows further down the way.

"That went well." Sam huffed between staggered breaths, "Thanks, Y/N. You okay?"

You knew he was referring to your powers when he asked that. It was hard for you to heal anyone who wasn't Dean. Luckily, the adrenalin was still pumping through your veins so you didn't feel too drained. 

"I'm good." You said definitively, "Shall we head downstairs, then?" 

Walking slowly to regain some strength before you faced whatever was waiting below, the three of you headed toward a door that lead you downstairs. The boys let you open the door and go first. You were able to gauge what was down there better than they were. When you opened the door, it creaked loudly, betraying your silence. The sound echoed through the basement and you heard three vampires notice the sound. One began running in your direction, and the other two further into the darkness of the hallways.

"Well they know we're here," you said quickly as you began running down the stairs with the brothers at your feet, "there are only five of them. But they know we're here! They're ready for us!" 

As soon as you got to the bottom of the stairs, one was already there. She bared her teeth at you and quickly had you in her grasp. Thankfully, Sam was right behind you and pushed her off before he took off her head with one easy swing.

"Thank you!" You called out as you continued to run with them. Knowing that you'd know the way, the boys let you run ahead. The basement was full of electrical supplies behind fenced off areas. There were multiple hallways but one led to a sectioned off room that you could tell had humans in. The rest of the vampires were waiting for you in there. 

The door you all arrived at was dark blue with the paint peeling off to show a rusted metal frame. You touched it and listened. The vampires were ready and the humans were scared. 

"Okay," you whispered as you turned to face the brothers, "the humans are on the back wall, I think they must be tied up. There's a vamp just to the left of the door as we come in. Sam, you take that one. Dean, there are two on the right, just a little further in, you take those two. I'll take the last one that's guarding the humans. Ready?"

The boys listened to you intently and got into a ready position when you were done. You felt the door was locked with heavy bolts so you used your power to force it open. Everything happened so fast. Sam dropped his vampire within seconds and Dean dropped his first similarly as fast. The vamp you gave yourself seemed to be the leader and moved extremely quickly. One moment he was in front of you, the next he was behind you. You swung your weapon frantically as you tried to snag him, but it as no use. He was laughing at you and pushing you. It really pissed you off. Dean had just killed his second vamp when he turned to face you. You didn't know where the vampire was but your heart stopped when you saw him appear behind Dean. 

Then suddenly, it was like everything was in slow motion. The vampire winked at you then took Dean's machete from his hand. With a smile on his face, he rammed it through Dean's body and you felt the pain. There was a cracking sound as the blade went through his spine. Both of you screamed and you saw Dean's face scrunch up in unbearable agony, the weapon now sticking out of his stomach. He couldn't drop to the floor as he was held up by the machete stuck inside of him, but you did. You fell hard and your knees cracked as you hit the ground. The vampire pulled the blade, not out of Dean, but up so that it ripped through his body. You screamed and writhed in pain on the floor as you felt the knife rip through you too like a fire. The vampire finally brought the blade out and sniggered in a way that made the pain even more insufferable. Finally, Sam came running over and cut the vamp's head off with a loud shout of frustration. Even as his head rolled along the floor, the vampire wore a smirk. It made you sick. You almost passed out from the pain but when you saw Dean drop, you ran to him. 

Sam was holding him against his own knees as he knelt behind his dying brother. There was blood smothered across his torso and dripping onto the floor. 

"Dean!" Sam yelled, "Dean! Stay with me! Come on, Dean! Don't do this." 

You threw yourself onto the floor next to them and forced your hands onto Dean's body to try and stop the bleeding. The warm, sticky liquid was oozing through your fingers. You could feel your power forcing its way into Dean’s body, but the cut was way too big and he was dying too fast. Dean's eyes weren't focusing on anything as he darted his gaze around the ceiling. 

"Y/N," he whispered, blood splattering out of his mouth, "do it." 

You knew exactly what he meant. He was ready to merge souls. It was time.

"Sam, get back." You said, having adopted a controlled and serious tone. Knowing what was about to happen, everything seemed okay. Sam backed up against a wall, tears streaming down his face. His hand covered his mouth as he held back his sobs, and he watched you kneel over Dean. 

No one had told you what to do, but it had always been something you knew. Breathing deeply, you placed your hands over Dean's chest. You felt the beating of his heart. It was weak. He was dying. One deep breath in and you began pressing harder onto his chest. Your eyes were closed but Sam was watching. He saw a white light slowly grow from the centre of your palms. It shone through you and into Dean's chest, just where his heart was. Gradually the light got bigger and bigger. You could feel the bond between you become clearer and clearer. Where once the connection between you and Dean had felt like two separate beings tied together with rope, you now felt like one being. 

Sam watched as a white light formed on your own body like a mirror of where there was light on Dean's. Your chest felt like it was ready to explode as the energy within you grew. Wondering if Dean felt the same, you breathed deeper and deeper. Your lungs no longer felt big enough. It felt like you weren't getting enough air. The deep breaths became heavy pants and you felt Dean's breathing adopt the same intensity. Then suddenly, you burst. Energy came pouring out of the both of you. Your eyes shot open but all you could see was white. Dean's eyes opened too and all he could see was white. Sam had to shield himself from the two of you as the energy you gave off was pushing him against the wall with the force of a hurricane. 

Wind starting picking up around the two of you. With your eyesight back, you looked down at Dean. The fatal wound was now gone but his clothes remained bloodstained and ripped. He was looking up at you with his beautifully green eyes. For a moment, the two of you just watched each other as the wind around you started to become filled with supernatural white light. It was so beautiful and calming, and it made both of you smile. Amidst a chaotic whirlwind of power and energy, the two of you found peace. Dean had managed to sit up, but you kept your hands on his chest. It was like the two of your were sitting in the eye of a supernatural tornado. It was magical and wonderful. You had never felt so powerful. Yet at the same time, you had never felt so vulnerable. 

Something came over Dean as he watched the lights dancing around you. It was like an instinct. Possibly like the instincts that you often said you felt. He raised one of his hands and placed it on your chest similar to how you were doing to him. His hand was over your heart. As soon as you felt the heat of his hand against your chest, the wind and lights came crashing down on the two of you, rendering you both unconscious. A tidal wave of power and strength had just been forced upon the two of you. It was too much for either of you to bear. The last thing you remember before waking up, back in the bunker was each other's eyes; Dean's green eyes, and your eerily black eyes. 

 


	7. I know we can.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything has changed now that you and Dean have merged souls. Everything.  
> It's now up to you to stop all Hell from breaking loose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh things are picking up in here! I hope you guys like it :) let me know!
> 
> UPDATE: 14/09/15  
> Sorry it's been so long! I'm lacking motivation at the moment but I promise I'm working on it. If you leave some nice comments, maybe it'll motivate me ;)

 

It was dark when you woke up. The second that you gained consciousness, your heart rate increased so fast that you felt as though you were falling. Having been lying down, you shot up into a sitting position. Your surroundings felt unfamiliar for a second or two, but the sensation of the bed sheets on your legs brought you back to reality. It was Dean's bed. You were home. Reaching out a hand, you were relieved to find Dean's body. You felt the warm material of his shirt against his skin. It was too dark to see him, but he was there, sleeping. Flashbacks to the whirlwind of power surrounding you both made you question if he were okay. It was the warmth of his body that let you know he was alive and safe. 

 _It's too dark,_ you thought to yourself. It had never been so dark before. Something was different. You raised your hands to your face but you couldn't see them....

 _That's what's different!_ You thought, _I'm not glowing._

Moving slowly and quietly, you got out of bed and made your way to the door. You didn't need to see to know how to navigate this room. Weeks of spending nights with Dean meant that you knew this place better than any other. The door hardly made a sound when you opened it, and the light didn't seem to bother Dean when it seeped through into the room and across the bed. You saw his face for a second as you left, he was peacefully asleep, and it made you smile.

The light was harsh on your eyes as you stepped out into the hallway. You had to raise a hand to shield your eyes for a moment. As you made your way to the bathroom, you looked at your hands and arms. You weren't wearing any trousers, only knickers, so you could see your bare legs too. Where your skin had once been the colour of white pearl, it was now Y/S/C. It was strange. You felt bizarrely human. Slightly heavier than normal. However there was still a telltale sign of your supernatural origin as your skin glittered ever so subtly with a slightly gold, slightly silver shimmer. As you looked down at your moving legs, your hair fell in front of your eyes. That too had changed. It was as no longer white, but instead Y/H/C. It also felt a lot healthier than the fragile tangle it had once been. When you finally reached the bathroom, you hardly recognised yourself in the mirror. You looked human. 

You didn't know how long you had been staring at yourself, but it didn't feel like that long before you heard a gentle knock at the door. 

"Come in." You called, your eyes not leaving your reflection. 

Sam walked in. His eyes looked puffy and his face seemed thinner. He didn't look like himself. Rubbing his eyes, he stood behind you as you gazed at him through the mirror. His torso just touched your back so that you could feel the strength of his presence. The way he towered over you comforted you, but you couldn't help but continue to look at yourself again as you kept running your hands through your hair and touching your face. 

"Shocked me too." Sam said quietly as he watched you study your new body. 

"Why-.... How-... I don't understand." You mumbled. 

"Well, you're not immortal anymore." Sam said. He had been thinking about it a lot while you and Dean had been unconscious. The realisation that what he said was true hit you in the chest. He noticed your slightly panicked look and put a hand on your shoulder. 

"It's gonna be alright, Y/N," he said soothingly, "We've got you." 

You smiled at him and let out a little puff of air that felt like a half of a laugh. Sam smiled back at you with a slightly crooked grin. 

"I'm glad you're finally awake." He said, regaining a normal volume of speech. A slither of skin above his sweatpants became visible as he stretched his arms up above his head revealing his stomach, and he let out a tired sigh.

"How long was I out?" 

Sam gave you a worried glance, "It's been a week, Y/N. I even called Castiel. I didn't know what to do."

"A week?" You almost shouted. Quickly you covered your mouth and glanced at the door, half expecting a sleepy Dean to stumble in and ask what was going on. He didn't come.

"Yeah," Sam huffed, "it's been a rough one."

There was another knock at the door. 

 _Dean?_ You thought.

But it wasn't him. Castiel came in, wearing his usual attire; his signature trench coat. The angel's feet shuffled along the floor as he joined you and Sam in the bathroom. 

"Y/N," he smiled, "welcome back."

 

An hour later, Dean was still resting. The three of you were sitting around a table in silence. A new sensation had come over you as Sam led you out of the bathroom. Hunger. The young Winchester made you a sandwich and cup of tea. It was such a foreign sensation. The only thing you had ever tasted before was your own blood during nasty scraps with supernatural beings. This was entirely new. The bread was soft as you chewed, but was contradicted by the crunch of lettuce and the watery texture of tomato. Cheese was completely bizarre. It had such a strong taste. There was no meat in this sandwich as Sam thought meat would be too harsh on a stomach that had never digested anything before. 

It was the tea that calmed you the most, and satisfied your hunger. The heat of the liquid as it met your lip and ran down your throat was such a relaxing sensation. You could feel it travel down into your stomach. 

All the while, Sam and Castiel watched you as you ate and drank. 

"How is it?" Sam asked, his eyebrows knitted into a small frown, but his lips curling ever so slightly into a smile.

"It's delicious. Thank you, Sam." You replied as you sipped on the tea. 

The boys let you sit in peace for a while before they felt it was time to talk about everything. Tension was in the air and when you had finally had enough, you spoke.

"Right," you began, placing your empty mug on the table, "what's been happening whilst I've been... Gone?"

The two exchanged glances before Castiel began explaining.

"Word has spread. From what we can gather, Crowley is looking for you both. He's called off the demons. He knows that you were taking them out by the dozen even while you were separate from Dean, and he probably understands that they'll be no use against you now. If he knew where the bunker was, I'm sure he would have tried ending it all as you slept, but luckily..."

"We think he's up to something. Everything's gone quiet." Sam added.

"The quiet before the storm." You mumbled, fiddling with the handle of the tea mug. 

This was a better outcome than you had expected. You thought there'd be utter chaos the moment you merged with Dean. Yet, this all felt very controlled. Crowley was keeping half of the dark supernatural forces off of you. Yes, he may have been cooking up a plan, but at least you had time to come up with one of your own. First thing you needed to do was to wake your other half. 

Dean was still unconscious when you returned to the bedroom. It was late evening now, and Sam and Castiel had left to get Charlie. Originally, they thought Castiel would soon return to her in order to keep her safe, but you felt it was best to have everyone you needed right next to you. It was you who needed to protect them. You had to keep them safe.

After having eaten, you were beginning to feel the changes. There was something within your chest that didn't feel like it belonged to you. Something light, something strong. It was your soul. It now belonged to Dean... a part of it did anyway. Something else was there with it too. It was Dean's soul. You could feel the two spirits swirling around each other in a tight space as they familiarised themselves. It felt like sparks of electricity were bouncing between them. Slow, the movement was calming. The two souls were accepting each other, and learning how to make each other stronger. Soon, they would be one, for ever. 

The sight of Dean made your chest tighten. Even before your souls merged, you felt the tug whenever you saw him, but now it was stronger. It was harder to ignore. The pull was more physical now and you couldn't fight it. Dean was lying on his side; his pillow enveloped half of his face. You let the force take you to Dean and you felt it ease when you sat next to him and placed your hand in his. The familiar tingling sensation engulfed your hand when you touched him. It felt like it had been years since you had felt his touch and you immediately melted into the feeling. There was only just enough space for you to lie next to him and so you had to press your body up against him in order to fit. Your back was cradled by his front. Even as he was unconscious, Dean instinctively wrapped his arms around you and you felt his face nuzzle into the back of your neck. 

Instead of closing your eyes, you studied Dean's hands as they were intertwined with yours in front of your eyes. His heart beat against your back and slowly your heartbeats fell in time with each other. The minute pulsing of your blood was visible to you in your wrists. Gradually the feeling of your heartbeats in sync with one another began to emphasise the power within you. It felt as though the synchronisation of your bodies was charging you. The power and energy within you was getting stronger and stronger. Your heart was beginning to race. Dean's was too. Worried, you quickly turned to face him. 

Dean's eyes were closed but his frown was increasingly intense. He began panting, and so did you. Suddenly you felt out of breath, exhausted. Scared, even. 

"Dean," you yelled, holding onto his face. Both of your hands were on either side of his head as he began thrashing it from side to side. The power within you felt as if it were about to burst. Your chest hurt and you had to try your best not to cry out. However, Dean did. He shouted a painful cry into your face and suddenly his eyes opened. For a split second you saw the white light spill out of his eyes before it began pouring out of yours too, blinding you. 

It was like the night you merged all over again. The room was picked up in a powerful whirlwind of energy. Both of you were screaming into each other faces, as a strange ripping and pulling sensation attacked your chests. Dean's hands gripped your waist tight, now. So tight that you knew there’d be bruises. You thought he must have awoken by now. Both hearts began thumping so hard, and with every beat there was a pulse of energy so powerful you thought they might explode. 

Then, suddenly, nothing. 

Darkness engulfed you both. Yet, you were still conscious. In no rush to get up and hurt yourself, you slowly opened your eyes, blinking furiously to regain vision. Then you regained feeling in your body. Everything was sore, especially your back and entire right side. When your sight finally returned, you found yourself lying on the hard floor, back up against the wall. The right side of your body took the brunt of the force and you rubbed your arm as you sat up. The sound of Dean grumbling made your body quickly awaken. You crawled around the bed, not having enough strength to stand. His position mirrored yours, on his left side against the wall on the floor. You had both been thrown back off the bed and into the walls.

"Dean," you called, "Dean are you alright?"

"Y/N?" He whispered, looking at you with disbelief. The surprise in his face reminded you that your appearance had vastly changed. As you held onto his arms, you realized there was something different with him as well. Something was lighter, like a weight that had been suffocating Dean, was now gone. Immediately your eyes darted to his forearm. Just where the mark would have been, there was nothing; only Dean’s skin. You didn’t let him know yet. He had only just woken up from over a week of sleep. He wasn’t ready. You found yourself having to refrain from running your fingers over the place where it should have been. Instead, you smiled at him. It had been a lifetime since you had felt this relieved, this happy, this fulfilled. The mark was gone. Dean was safe.

 _He’s safe,_ you thought to yourself, _he must be._

Dean was looking at you, confusion smeared across his face. His emerald eyes were frantically scanning yours for an answer. You wanted to remain calm but the removal of the mark made you giggle slightly. To regain control, you cleared your throat.

"Come on," you said with a grunt as you helped him stand, "I'll explain everything."

 

“Holy…” Dean trailed off.

The three men stood, all staring at Dean’s outstretched forearm. Sam grabbed it and ran his hand over where the make used to be. They all looked on in disbelief. You watched them with crossed arms, as you questioned the possibility that this may not be all sunshines and rainbows.

“So…” Sam murmured.

“So this means…” Castiel wondered aloud.

“I don’t know what this means.” You said, now leaning against the library table.

“It means I’m good!” Dean exclaimed as he walked toward you and out his hands around your waist in an attempt to hug you. You slithered out of his grasp, not wanting to celebrate too soon. He frowned at you, “What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“It just all seems a bit too easy, don’t you think?”

You really did want to believe all of this, but it was too simple. Now, you looked over at the three men, and worried that you had put them in more danger than they had ever been before. Frustrated, you ran your hands through your hair and held them at the back of your head. Unconsciously, Dean mirrored your action as he too had a hand go through his still rather messy hair.

“So, what’s the plan, Y/N?” Sam asked, stepping toward you.

“Well,” you began, looking over at Dean, whose eyes couldn’t meet yours, “I want to see where we’re at. I mean, I need to know the extent of my powers now, and…”

Your pause made all three of them look at you intently.

“-and I need to know the extent of Dean’s too.”

 

================================================================================================================================================================================

 

 

Standing with your fists held up at the ready in front of your dripping with sweat face, you swayed from side to side. Dean’s face was pointed down slightly, so as he stared at you through his own fists as well, his green eyes were angled up at you in a way that almost made you fear him. Yet, there was a familiarity in those green orbs that comforted you, and then there was the grin on his face that reminded you that he was having fun. You smiled back at him before quickly throwing a punch, which he block with a firm arm. He then retaliated by grabbing your two wrists with one arm and bringing a knee up into your stomach. With a grunt, you accepted the hit, and then another. Unable to stand the strength of his blows anymore, you used his strength against him. Using the stability of his hand around your wrists, you let him take your full weight as you jumped off the floor and brought you knees up to your chest. There was a flash of panic in his eyes for a moment before you kicked out and felt the solidity of his chest beneath your feet. Both of you went flying back as you pushed your legs out with all your might. You simultaneously landed on the floor, both of you coughing. Dean was lying on his back, his hands holding onto his chest. Quickly back on your feet and in the ready position, you watched him get back up, though huffing and puffing.

“Use the stability of the earth beneath you.” You instructed between gasps for air.

“I don’t even know what that means.” He complained, rubbing his sore chest.

“Close your eyes, Dean,” you said, remaining light on your toes, “let the energy of the earth flow into you from the floor, up to your head and then out. Imagine it in your mind, and it will follow.”

You watched his as he began taking in deep breaths. Soon, he stopped rubbing his chest and had his fists up again. His frown decreased as you felt him regain the energy you had just knocked out of him. You felt his power; he was so strong. He needed to learn how to maintain it. The frown he wore now was one of determination. He wore his strength on his face. He was ready for another go.

“Come on, Dean,” you shouted as you lunged toward him, “show me what you got!”

“Be careful what you wish for, darling’.” He remarked, with a grin that made your stomach feel bizarrely, but wonderfully, fluttery.

As you swung a fist out, he dodged low and brought a fist to your stomach. Falling back a couple steps, you wiped your forehead and saw Dean stand upright again and start swaying from left to right as he readied himself. You gave him a motion with your hands for him to come and get it. You wanted him to be the one to initiate a fight and so he did. As he walked forward, he punched out but you copied his last move by grabbing his hand and bringing a knee up to his chest. There was a faint hint of chuckle under the sound of his painful grunt.

“Touché.” He spat with a smirk. Twisting his arm, he managed to escape your grasp and he brought up two hands to push you back by your shoulders. But instead, he managed to do way more than that. Something grew within his chest and as he brought his hands up, he felt it rise and travel through his arms. Just as he was about to make contact with your shoulders, the energy came bounding out of him and hit you like a gust of wind in the chest, flinging you back over ten feet, into the wall. A shout of pain escaped your mouth as you flew back and hit the wall. The sound of your ribs cracking and spine fracturing sent shivers through your body. You slid to the ground and fell onto your side. Dean ran over to you, cursing under his breath. As soon as he touched you, you felt yourself healing. After merging with him, you realized that the healing process was a lot faster, almost immediate. You no longer had to think about it, it just happened. However, it still hurt. Whining in pain, you managed to get yourself up right, still sitting on the floor but now leaning against the wall.

“Jesus, Y/N,” Dean shouted, looking down at his hands as if they had betrayed him, “I didn’t mean to… I didn’t even know!”

Your hand found his face and he leant into a little. He closed his eyes as the feeling of your skin on his awoke the tingling sensation at the point of contact.

“It’s alright,” you said, “I’m alright.”

Dean helped you as you stood. At that moment Sam came running in.

“What happened?!” He exclaimed as he ran toward the two of you.

“Nothing, we’re fine.” Dean said decisively.

“Well, not nothing, Dean.” You insisted. Looking at Sam, you continued, “Dean managed to throw me across the entire room without touching me.”

“What?” Sam said confused.

“It’s one of my powers, I guess…? Being able to channel the energy of the earth and control it, use it.” You explained, trying to infer that it must now also be one of his.

“So, you’re saying that I used the power of the planet to throw you against a wall? Doesn’t seem very useful.”

“Dean,” you said, adopted a serious tone, “had I been human, that would’ve killed me. We’re going to have to work on controlling it. Even I find it hard. Remember what I did at the Styne house?”

He nodded understandingly, looking down at his hands. Sam eyed you both nervously.

“Any news from the outside world?” You asked Sam as you held onto one of Dean’s hands, trying to distract him from himself. Not wanting to hold onto him too much, you squeezed his hand before letting go and crossing your arms.

“Um,” Sam shrugged, “Not really. It’s like the supernatural world has gone into hiding. There’s nothing.”

“There can’t be nothing.” You complained.

“There is something we could do…” Sam began before trailing off, realizing how crazy his idea sounded.

“What?” You and Dean asked at the same time.

“Well,” Sam said, “Crowley… We could talk to him.”

 

================================================================================================================================================================================

 

“Squirrel!” You heard the raspy voice exclaim down the phone. The decision to have you on the phone was one that no one voted for but you. You made the decision because you thought you’d be able to put some fear into the King of Hell. At the sound of his voice, he awoke an anger in you that made you clench your fist. Everyone was standing around you; Sam, Castiel, Charlie and of course Dean. He kept a close eye on you, ready to take the phone from you at any second and end the conversation.

“Think again, buddy.” You said with a calm voice. All the while, you kept thinking, _Keep a clear head. Keep the high ground._

“The guardian…” Crowley gasped.

“Wow,” you said with mocked surprise, “he’s smart, then.”

“What do you want? Why are you calling me?”

“First of all, I wanted to hear your voice-…”

“How sweet.” He interrupted, causing your anger to boil up inside you a little hotter.

“So that I could pinpoint your exact location.” A voice was all you ever needed to find someone, even if it was a voice from a phone. The silence on the other end of the line told you that you had managed to strike a little fear into him. It felt good.

“Now that I know exactly where you stand, or should I say sit? ... Now that I know where you are, we can get down to business, hmm?”

“And what business is that, sweetheart?”

“Stopping you before you start. I know what you’re planning. I can feel the concentration of supernatural around you. You’re planning on raising an army.”

You saw Dean tense and his green eyes darted to lock with your own. Raising an arm to touch his shoulder, you calmed him. At this moment, you knew what you were doing. Crowley was feeding into your hand like a puppy.

“How predictable of you, Crowley. You know, I really did expect more from you. I think even you’d be surprised by all the wonderful things your little pet demons had to say about you before Dean and I took their lives. ‘You don’t know what you’re doing!’ They’d shout. ‘Crowley will make you pay for this!’ ‘He’s stronger than you ever will be!’ All of these threats yet you still seem so… small.”

There was still silence on the other end of the line. All you could hear was the static of the connection and his slow breathing.

“Listen to me, Crowley,” you continued, leaning down onto the table now, imagining him in front of you, “I am older than you. I am stronger than you. I am bonded to a _Winchester_ by our souls. If you think your army of incompetent demons will stop us… well… don’t kid yourself.”

Those last words were said with so much guttural hate that when you hung up, you had to sit down to stop yourself from punching something. Dean sat on the chair next to you and put his hand on your back to try and take away some of that negativity. He was able to consciously do this for you now and he never hesitated to. The bond between you had made him much more aware of how much you needed him as well as him needing you. He’d always felt as though he needed you, but it didn’t become clear to him that you did actually need him too, until the merge.

“It’s alright,” he whispered, “I’ve got you.”

Dean looked up at Sam, who gave him a concerned look. You took a moment to calm down. The last time you had felt this much hate was when the mark was still on Dean, and it affected you too. The supernatural gathering in Hell was causing a strong force of evil that you were unintentionally channeling whilst focusing on Crowley’s location.

“Thanks Dean,” you said, taking the hand he offered into your own, “I’m fine.”

“Wow, Y/N,” Charlie said, “I knew you were a badass, but that was… Even I was scared!”

The group laughed a little, making you fell a lot better.

“Thanks Charlie,” you chuckled, “I just… I don’t know. I could feel all of that evil inside of Crowley, and it just… Hit a nerve or something.”

“Well, it was awesome.” She laughed.

Dean almost smiled but his concern took over and he squeezed your hand to get your attention.

“Y/N,” he said, “what did you mean when you said that he’s… raising an army?”

Looking at them all, you saw the fear come over their faces. It hurt you to see them like this.

“Crowley’s gathering all of the supernatural creatures he can. Mostly demons, but he’s managed to get others on his side too, like dragons, vamps, were-wolves. He’s preparing for battle. They all are.”

“And you think we can take them?” Sam asked.

The people you’d come to love as family all looked to you now. Part confused, part scared, part ready, they looked to you. Suddenly, you had a plan.

“I know we can.” You said with determination.


	8. I trust you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The demons are getting restless, but Dean is getting stronger. So are you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THAT IT'S BEEN SO LONG. I KNOW I SUCK.  
> I hope you have all had wonderful thanksgivings! I'm not American so I don't celebrate it, but still :3  
> This chapter is my gift to you. Thank you to all of those who have read and commented and what not. It means a lot to hear from you guys.  
> This chapter will not make up for how long it's been, but hopefully I'll be able to make it up to you eventually.  
> Enjoy! :3

The people you’d come to love as family all looked to you now. Part confused, part scared, part ready, they looked to you. Suddenly, you had a plan.

“I know we can.” You said with determination.

 

“Come on! I can take it!” You shouted at Dean. 

He was standing maybe twenty metres in front of you, across the field. His body was tense and you could see his hands making fists at his sides. With his head angled down and his eyes closed, he drew upon the energy of the earth beneath him. The ground felt like it shook a little beneath him before he sent a wave of energy up his legs, through his body and out of his chest. The power of the force pushed a yell out from his lungs as the wave expelled from him and towards you. You watched as his chest heaved outwards and his arms raised out and up, his fists still tight. Preparing yourself for the force, you steadied yourself and spread your feet wide on the ground. As you felt the wave hit you, you let yourself become weightless so that you ascended up with the flow, turned in the air once and landed. Feet on the ground now, you immediately looked behind you and watched as Dean’s power blew down two rows of trees.

Ever since the phone call with Crowley, your main priority was to get everyone ready for the inevitable fight. Whilst Sam spent time inside the bunker, teaching Charlie how to hold her own, you took Dean outside and worked on controlling his abilities. You would take him from state to state, from field to field so that Crowley could never pin your location down. The strength of Dean’s power was growing. Every time you had these practices, trees would fall and forests would be scarred. Dean taught you hand to hand combat, whilst you taught him how to optimize his strengths and newfound power. It was important to train in tight areas as well as these open fields, so sometimes you’d find yourselves in some desolate forest.

This morning was a power morning. That blow that Dean just made was the first of the day. It was strong. He was getting better and more confident. But, as well being able to control them and give them out, Dean had to learn how to take them. You’d thought of every possible angle that this fight could go down. It may be the case that he’s surrounded and you need to quickly get them all off of his back. With this in mind, you threw a force back at him, stronger than the one he just threw you. He saw your change in stance and waited for the blow. As it hit him in the chest, Dean let the weightless sensation take over his body, but instead of being able to spin it out, he went flying backwards with the force. He hit a tree, hard. Some of the forest came down with him.

 “Agh!” He huffed, hearing the crack of bone.

In an instant, you were by his side and gave him the touch so that he healed.

“That was good.” You said, deciding to take a break instead of helping him back up.

“Are you kidding?” He whined, “You just kicked my ass.”

You sat next to him, leaning on the fallen down tree. Looking out at the field, you breathed in and let nature clear your mind and heal your body. Dean watched you as you took in deep breaths and he followed suit.

“These things take time, Dean.” You said reassuringly, rubbing his knee.

“I know,” He replied, sounding a little defeated and a little angry, “but how much time do we have?”

You looked at him now, feeling as though a part of you had let him down. Yet you also felt a little angry. Did he have no faith in you? He was scared that he wouldn’t be ready. He was scared that he’d fail and that everything would go wrong. Did he think that you would let that happen?

 “Dean,” you said with a serious tone that he was always shocked to hear, “we have as much time as we need. We’re calling the shots, here. Not him.”

There was no need to say his name. Dean knew whom you meant. He didn’t know what to say back to you, so you both remained silent.

After a while, Dean spoke, “Hey, Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Were you disappointed in me?”

“What? When?”

“When I was a demon.”

He couldn’t quite look you in the eyes, so he looked at the floor when he turned his face to you. Dean knew you’d seen. You’d told him about the way information came flooding in. Then after the merge, it was as if new memories had been made in your mind. It was as if you had watched his whole entire life unravel. Like you’d been there, but unable to make changes or sway his mind. You watched him die, go to Hell, go to purgatory, come back. You watched him become a demon and it felt as though you were standing right next to him the whole time, unable to help him... Unable to take away the pain and the hurt.

“Never.” Was your answer.

He looked at you then, his eyes full of sadness. It hurt you.

“I felt disappointed in myself,” you continued, “it felt like I should have been able to help you, but I couldn’t. There was nothing I could do, but watch.”

Dean watched you speak with his green eyes looking so frustrated.

“Listen,” you said, taking his hand into yours, “it doesn’t matter what you did. It matters what you do. Kicking ass and taking names, right?”

Dean chuckled. His laugh was life changing and every time he did, a little piece of you felt as though it were being added to your messy collage of a life. He squeezed your hand.

“That’s right.”

 _Y/N?_ You heard Sam, _We need you back here._

Without even warning Dean, you brought him back to the bunker. You arrived, both still sitting on the floor. Sam was standing, facing the other direction.

“What’s up?” You said, trying to adopt the casualty of the human language.

“It’s Charlie.” Sam said as he turned to see you both get up off the floor.

Clearly not moving fast enough, Sam grabbed you by the arm and started pulling you desperately towards the corridors that led you to the bedrooms.

Charlie was lying down on Sam’s bed; you could see her writhing in pain.

“What happened?” You shouted as you ran to her, taking her hand in yours to start the healing process.

Dean was by your side in an instant and took Charlie’s hand from yours. He looked at you with a face that said, _Let me do it._ You nodded at him understandingly and got up to talk to Sam.

“What happened?” You repeated with a hint of anger.

“Demons,” Sam said, “I don’t know much else. Charlie hasn’t exactly been able to maintain conversation. 

The redheaded girl had a bad wound on her abdomen and her face was bloodied. She was gripping Dean’s hand tight and her face was scrunched up in pain. It still took Dean some time to be able to heal anyone else who wasn’t you, but he demanded that he learnt. In a few minutes, Charlie’s body was more relaxed and her open wounds were closing, although she was still bloodstained.

“It’s alright,” Dean comforted her, “I’ve got you. We’ve got you. It’s gonna be alright.”

“How could this happen?” You asked no one in particular, “I thought everything was quiet.”

“It seems they’re getting restless.” Castiel stated as he walked in the door.

No one spoke. There was nothing to say. You all knew it was bound to happen. It was just a case of when. It angered you. Demons were so childish with their evil intent. Looking around the room, you studied the four people whom you had put in danger. This couldn’t happen. If things were ever going to get better, they were going to have to get worse first. You needed to control it. You needed to maintain the power of this situation. In a flash of anger, you left the room, the bunker, the state.

At a crossroads a few states away, you stood. Anger was boiling inside you and you screamed into the air.

“Come on then, Crowley!” You shouted up into the skies, “Give me your best shot!”

He knew exactly where you were and instantly sent a group of ten demons to you. All of them looked drained, as if a month of no soul-sucking jobs had withered them away. They looked tired, but you’d be stupid to underestimate them. But then again, they’d be stupid to underestimate you. You could see it in their eyes as the lot of them circled you. There was so much angry energy inside you right now that they were no match. As soon as one of them made a move, which signaled them all to come at you, you let the power of the earth take over. The earth vibrated beneath you and in two seconds the energy erupted from you. You didn’t even move, you simply allowed the power to flow through and out of you. It felt as though your body were a doorway. The wave of energy was slightly obstructed by you, yet it only added more to the power of the impact. It was a sensation you were used to, but the result wasn’t. As you felt the anger grow and then fade when the energy escaped the earth through you, something changed. The effect of your anger and frustration made the energy visible with an orange red tinge. As it hit the demons, it acted like a fire, then an explosion. Each demon was hit by the flame-like wave and then seemed to combust. Each one of the bodies then became a tight ball of black smoke, the demon soul, which then became a fire that died out with a bang.

“What the-…” You breathed, looking down at your hands like they were to blame.

Looking around, the world fell silent. You could hear yourself breathing and the sound of your heart beating. The anger that had been destroyed by shock was now growing again. In the back of your mind, you could hear Dean calling to you, but you pushed it to the side. Your anger was blinding you.

“Crowley!” You screamed, “Show yourself, you coward!”

“What can I do for you, sunshine?” He asked as he appeared in front of you.

“What do you want?” You asked, fully ignoring his question.

He smirked at you and you scoffed. 

“You.” He purred, “We’d make a great team, you and I.”

“Yeah? Well, that’s not happening.”

“Oh yes, of course. You belong to Dean, now.”

“You can’t fight this Crowley. This is bigger than you. You fight this war, and you will lose.”

The earth was feeding you energy, but you kept it under control. The demon eyed you suspiciously. 

“What would even happen?” You asked, spitting out a bitter laugh.

“What would happen if what, my darling?” The demon returned.

“If I killed you right here right now.” You threatened, readying your stance.

Crowley’s eyes squinted at you. He was unsure whether you could actually do that or not. You watched him tilt his head with uncertainty, as he looked you up and down. The ground was beginning to shake ever so subtly. You were ready. You wanted to end it. Right here. Right now. The tension was killing you.

“I wouldn’t pull on that thread, love.” He said, but his gaze was challenging you.

You let out a chuckle, releasing some of the tension. But the moment Crowley went you smile, you lost it. It didn’t make sense to you how he could have the audacity to smile and enjoy all of the pain he was causing. 

Shifting your right leg back a fraction, you steadied yourself before leaning forward a little and opening your arms out. The power of the earth was eager to flow through you so as soon as you opened your body to its forces, it acted with divine strength. The sensation of the force fed your soul with light and caused you to yell out in effort. You thought that maybe you’d acted fast enough, but just as fast as he’d arrived, he disappeared. The wave of energy you’d channeled was wasted and was sent off down an empty road. Once the power had left your body, your shoulders dropped and you sighed heavily.

Back in the bunker, everyone was looking at you. Dean rushed to your side and had his hands on either side of your arms.

“What happened?” He shouted, “Damn it, Y/N! You can’t just take off like that. It’s not safe!”

“I’m fine.” You said, shrugging him off of you, “I just had a bone to pick.”

“Crowley.” Castiel stated.

“Yeah,” You sighed, “Crowley.”

An hour later, you were sat in the library with Sam opposite you. Dean and Castiel were in the kitchen. No one had spoken that much. It was tense in the bunker. Everyone knew that you were angry about what happened to Charlie. They felt it too. As you sat at the table, you rattled the plan you’d concocted around in your head. You doubted it would still work. Dean was getting stronger everyday. You knew that soon he’d be strong enough for a bigger fight. He’d be strong enough for the big fight. But, you needed more power; more back up. It was clear what you needed to do, but doubted it would run as smoothly as you were hoping it would. With a sigh, you got up. This idea needed to be put in motion as fast as possible.

Dean and Castiel were in the kitchen. They’d been speaking before you got there, but went quiet when they noticed you in the doorway. Thinking you wanted to talk to him, Dean began walking to you.

“Do you mind if I talk to you?” You asked, looking directly at Castiel, passed Dean.

You saw a glint of disappointment in Dean’s eyes before he turned to look at the angel. Castiel nodded, then looked to Dean. He put a hand on your arm before walking passed you, and out of the kitchen.

“I know what you’re thinking, Y/N.” Castiel said, before you even had the chance to pitch your idea, “And it’s not possible. The angels won’t listen to me now.”

“But maybe they’ll listen to me.” You said firmly.

Castiel’s blue eyes couldn’t hide his concern. He went to say something, his lips twitching, but he stopped himself.

“I know it sounds crazy,” you said, “but it’s got to be worth a shot, right? I mean, just the five of us, against a possible army of them? It’s not possible. We’ll all be dead, then everything that’s happened will have been for nothing.”

The angel sighed, and his gaze dropped to the floor. He knew you were right, but the risk of playing with angels was a risk he didn’t want to take.

“What ever you want to do,” he said after a while of contemplation, “I’m right behind you.”

A small gasp escaped you mouth.

“Thank you, Castiel.” You said, walking to him and placing a hand on his arm, “Thank you.”

Pulling him to you, you wrapped your arms around him. As expected, it took him a moment to respond. But soon, you smiled in the warm embrace of the angel who welcomed you to this world. Dean was your person, but Castiel was very much your angel. Every time you saw him, he brought clarity to your mind and ease to your soul.

 

* * *

 

“So, what?” Dean yelled, flailing his arms around, “You think you’re just gonna turn on your angel radio and they’re all gonna come flying?”

“Well, yes.” You said, bluntly, “I was hoping they would. Do you not think they’ll want to help?”

He paced before you as you sat crossed-legged on his bed. His eyes focused on the floor in front of his feet as he walked back and forth. For a moment, his gaze flickered up to you and his lips moved as if to talk, but he huffed and went back to pacing. You could see him thinking hard, but what he was thinking about baffled you. What could possibly be so difficult to comprehend?

“Dean, I don’t understand.” You said, softly, “Why don’t you think it’s a good idea?”

The pacing stopped, and where his hands hand been on his hips, he now dropped his arms. He sighed and his face suddenly looked sad and apologetic. Your eyes followed him as he walked towards you and knelt before you. He took one of your hands into his own, keeping his eyes on them. Then he looked into your eyes with his own out-of-this-world greens ones.

“It’s not that I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He said, “I just… I don’t think any of this will ever end. No matter what happens, there’s going to be someone out there who’d bound to want to… own you… your power.”

“It’s not just me anymore, Dean. They’ll want you too.”

“I know.” He nodded, “That’s why I can’t… I don’t see a way out here, Y/N. Nothing will ever be what it was. Everything’s changed. The moment I made that agreement with Kain, I knew it. Everything has changed. 

His head hung low as he turned to sit next to you. Resting his elbows on his knees, he put his head in his hands. You put you arm around him and pressed your face into the crook of his neck.

“Everything has change, I can’t lie to you. This is your life now. But you’re not alone. You never have been. You just have to trust me.”

Dean didn’t say anything, but he brought his head up and turned to you. Before you knew it, he had his arms around you. You felt the warmth of his embrace wash over you and instinctively wrapped your arms around him too. His grip loosened a little and you leant back to look at his face. He wore his signature frown.

“Okay,” he said, quietly, “I trust you. Do it.”


End file.
